True Gifts

You have put up with my grumbling and griping about the stresses of the holiday season, and possibly gleaned a few tips amidst the grouching to deal with your particular stressors.  I hope you’ve been able to incorporate ideas that resonated with you and you have thrown the rest out of the sleigh!  I actually put a few of my own tips into practice, reducing my holiday stress.  After the Christmas witch I was last year, I promised to turn over one of my big stressors – gift giving – to my husband.  And, for the most part, he was in the captain’s seat this year.  He made most of the choices.  I co-piloted by budgeting, bill-paying and gift wrapping.  The gift wrapping wasn’t even so bad this year, since I learned how to gift wrap for a 4-H lesson a few years ago.  If you want, you can see the Wrap Artist, just keep in mind it was for the purposes of showing how to do a 4-H demonstration. Just the same, it surprising how learning a few great tips can take the stress out of a situation.  

 

As we head into the New Year, my mind is still on gifts, but not the ones that can be boxed, wrapped and tied up with string.  It is the gifts we all bring that are unwrapping around our community daily.  One of the great gifts for my family was the Phil Aaberg concert.  We sit with our faces aglow from being in the midst of such artistry.  To watch him share his great gift with the world is powerfully uplifting. 

 While Phil Aaberg is accustomed to playing in many venues, nine years ago, I saw him share his big talent in a very small room to uplift residents and relatives at the Peace Hospice Residential Facility in Great Falls.  By December that year, my Dad had been in hospice care three and a half months.  My mother moved right in with him, not leaving his side until hours after his spirit had left his body.  Witnessing their dedication and love during Dad’s final days on earth was a gift I will always cherish.  As their time together was coming to an end, there was not much my mother was looking forward to that season, but she did look forward to when Phil was coming and invited me to be there.  Phil sat down in the parlor area, with an intimate and appreciative audience of about 20 people and lit up some of the darkness.  What a gift!

Because of Opportunities for All Scholarship, Inc., Phil Aaberg was able to be in Choteau, lighting up the holiday season for 300 people.  Because of generous donations from a variety of people and businesses, the concert was offered as a free-will donation, making it available to anyone, no matter their financial circumstances.  Those in attendance gave their gifts by sharing $3200 to be used to support people, mostly youth, pursue a potential talent.  Wouldn’t it be a shame if years ago, when Phil Aaberg was a young boy, his talent was left uncultivated, just for the lack of money?  Opportunities for All Scholarship committee recognizes that all of us can cultivate a skill that turns into a passion that turns into a talent that can be shared with others.  But, cultivating a skill takes time and assistance, and lessons and practice.  Our county and communities are better because of the volunteers who give their gifts by serving on the Opportunities for All Scholarship board.

In 2008, Dr. Doug Steele, Dan Clark and Paul Lachapelle with MSU Extension and the Local Government Center, brought their gifts of vision and leadership by connecting Teton County with the Horizons poverty reduction program.  Through the several phases of the community development work (from study circles to Leadership Plenty classes), participants in Teton County brought their gifts and insights and energy.  Participants spent quite a bit of effort to define poverty, which is not only about economics.  It can also be about communities being underfunded in an area of development.  OFAS was one of the projects that was born out of the Horizons program.  Another gift that was already developing was Neighbors Helping Neighbors and they got a boost from the Horizons program, too.  This boost allowed them to amplify their efforts connecting people to the resources they need.  In time, as the Jaycees disbanded, the Caring Tree project found a home with Neighbors Helping Neighbors.

Since we are speaking of gifts, the Caring Tree volunteers and donors give a huge gift to those in need during the season.  Having been involved with that program as a volunteer for many years, I know that some families only need help temporarily.  One family, who received gifts from the Caring Tree for a few years during some challenging times and asked for very practical items like winter coats for their kids, is now taking tags from the tree and filling them.  Whether paying it back or paying it forward, your kindness to others is a huge gift.

The true gifts you bring are golden.  

With my Extension work, I’m able to repeatedly see the true gifts we all bring to our communities.  From  4-H leaders sharing their knowledge and resources with 4-H youth to the 4-H youth serving their community through food drives and other service projects, I see the gifts.  From the participant in Extension classes sharing their own life lessons at the right time and place for another’s benefit to the fair judges who inspire a youth to push to a higher level of quality, I see the gifts. 

It doesn’t take much, when you take a minute to look around, to see the true gifts being shared in our world.  In 2015, I encourage you to look for ways to share your special gifts with those around you, because it has been my experience that one good gift always leads to another. Put your good out there and trust it will get delivered to the right recipient at the right time. From MSU Extension in Teton County, thank you to those who have been such a special present to our communities.

__________________________________________________________________

Opportunities for All -- From Choteau School newsletter March 2013:

Opportunities for All Scholarships is a 501(c)3 organization that was created as part of the Horizons program brought to Choteau by the Extension Service in 2008. During the initial Horizons meetings, areas of need in our community were discussed and solutions sought.

One of the concerns was the difficulty for low-income families and individuals to participate in enrichment activities such as music lessons, 4-H club membership, swimming lessons, online classes, fitness programs, and so forth because of budget limitations and the lack of discretionary funds.

OFAS was formed to help make enrichment activities available to all. The organization offers a $250 individual scholarship to anyone who lives in Teton County and meets the financial guidelines, which are the same as those used for families to be eligible for free or reduced-price meals at school. Applicants are asked to complete a one-page application and provide proof of financial eligibility. Individuals may apply once every 12 months. Awards are limited to two per family in a 12-month period.

Since its inception, OFAS has provided awards for a variety of enrichment activities, including music lessons, swimming lessons, preschool scholarships, fitness programs and Close Up scholarships.

If a scholarship could help you, please do not hesitate to apply. Applications are available at the high school office, the Choteau/Teton Public Library and the Choteau Acantha newspaper office. If you would like to support the scholarship program, donations may be left at the Acantha or mailed to Opportunities for All Scholarships, P.O. Box 1134, Choteau, MT 59422.

Opportunities

4-H Project Day

Today, several Teton County 4-H members did arts, crafts, baking and cooking.  We learned science snippets with each of the four crafts -- glass etching, tile stenciling, chalkboard coaster painting and decoupage.  We also learned about acid-base reactions and leavening.  Some of our older 4-H members helped plan the lessons and teach.

We also listened to Logan Ley, 4-H alum, talk about careers in photography and photo styling.  He shared some of the details of the work he does preparing advertising photo shoots.  Unfortunately, he didn't stay to help me get any good photos of the cookies.  I sure could have used a food stylist!

I told the 4-H members, that I'd post the recipes they made on my blog, so now they are here for you to enjoy, too!

Melting Moments

Bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes

Cookies:

2/3 c. cornstarch

1 c. flour unsifted

1/3 c. powdered sugar

1 c. real butter

Sift flour and cornstarch together, set aside.  Cream butter and sugar together.  Once creamed add dry ingredients.  Drop by teaspoonful (very small) or roll into teaspoon-size balls.  Put on cookie sheet and bake for 15 minutes at 350 degrees.

Frosting:

2 c. powdered sugar

2 Tbsp. butter (soft, but not melted)

Dash of salt

1 tsp. vanilla

¼ tsp. almond extract

Whipping cream or milk

Cream together sugar, butter, salt and extracts.  Slowly add enough cream to make a spreadable frosting.  When cookies have cooled, frost.

Chocolate Snowballs

¾ c. butter, softened

½ c. sugar

1 egg

2 tsp. vanilla extract

2 c. all-purpose flour

½ tsp. salt

1 c. chopped nuts (optional)

1 c. chocolate chips

Powdered sugar

In large bowl cream butter and sugar.  Add egg and vanilla, mix well.  Combine the flour and salt.  Stir into cream mixture.  Fold in the chips and nuts.  Roll into 1 inch balls.  Place 1 inch apart on ungreased baking sheets.  Bake at 350 degrees 15-20 minutes. Put on cooling racks.  Cool cookies slightly and then roll in powdered sugar. 

Chocolate Oatmeal No Bake Cookies

1 c. sugar

2 Tbsp. baking cocoa

¼ c. butter

¼ c. milk

1 c. quick cook oats

¼ c. flaked coconut

2 Tbsp. peanut butter

½ tsp vanilla extract

In a saucepan, combine sugar and cocoa, add butter and milk.  Cook and stir over medium heat until mixture boils.  Boil for one minute.  Remove from heat.  Add oats, coconut, peanut butter and vanilla.  Let stand until it can hold shape on a spoon.  Drop by spoonful onto waxed paper.  Let set.

Branch chalkboard coasters

Over the River & Through the Woods ...

Over the river and through the woods to Grandmother’s house we go … I recently went on a reminiscing trip thinking about my Grandma Bernece and Grandpa Olyn.  When I was very little, all the first cousins and families would gather at Grandma and Grandpa’s on Christmas Eve to open presents. There was wrapping paper everywhere and cousins and aunts and uncles and my Grandpa’s homemade ice cream.  Great memories!  Years later, as the cousins got older, Grandma and Grandpa would travel to the homes of each of their children, starting south of Gilford at Uncle Leroy’s, stopping at Aunt Coleen’s in Rudyard, hitting Uncle Merlin’s north of Rudyard and then to our house.  We were always last because we shared the same farm yard with Grandma and Grandpa.  That close proximity meant there wasn’t a lot of holiday travel in my youth. 

Safe travels this season to you and your sleigh full!

Years later, as a teacher, I tried to make it home for the holidays on an incredibly icy Highway 2.  Somewhere near Harlem, we tried to stay on the road as we passed some of my students in the ditch.  There was no way for us to stop to offer assistance.  There were half a dozen vehicles in the ditch in about a half-mile stretch.  Law enforcement was there, trying to stay on their feet.  More than once we saw an officer slide off his feet on the skating rink that hours before had been pavement.  It was slippery and slow going – white knuckle driving at its best.  I have a few stories from other treacherous trips over the years and over the river and through the woods.

Holiday travel can be one of the big stressors of the season, so I’d like to share a few tips for winter driving.  First, make sure your vehicle is road ready.  Now anyone who has seen me driving around town in my fashionable Ford Explorer of the 1994 vintage may wonder how I can even give such advice.  This is definitely do as I say, not as I do!  And, lest you be worried, my rig rarely leaves town.  So, back to your vehicle … when was the last oil change, tire rotation, brake inspection?  Have you checked the fluids – oil, coolants, power steering, brake and windshield washer – recently?  Have you replaced your windshield wipers lately?  What about tires? For winter driving, the MontanaDepartment of Transportation gives this information on tires:  You need good tread.  All-season radials on a front-wheel-drive passenger vehicle are adequate, as are snow tires on most rear-wheel-drives.  Chain restrictions in Montana are most often put into effect for commercial vehicles.  Studded snow tires can be used in Montana from October 1 until May 31 and they are 218% more effective than conventional tires.  Chains are 630% more effective. 

If your vehicle is prepared, the next step is to make sure you are.  It is recommended to have an emergency travel kit that includes a first aid kit, blankets, winter clothing, whistle, tow chain or straps, sand, water, non-perishable high energy food, matches in a waterproof container, flashlight and extra batteries.  For a complete list see the winter survival guide at MDT website.  Another thing to consider is having a fully-charged cell phone.  You may not have reception in all places, but keep in mind that sometimes a text message can get out when a voice call cannot. 

Plan ahead.  Look at road reports.  Leave early and travel as much as possible in daylight.  Call someone to let them know when you are leaving and report in when you arrive.  Use your headlights to be visible – think of Rudolph guiding the sleigh!  Wear a seatbelt, stay hydrated with water as it assists with focus, and stay alert.  Take stretch breaks as needed.  Keep your focus on your driving, not on passengers.  This task is hard even for short distances sometimes, like this morning as my daughter spilled hot chocolate all over as we approached the school zone!  Yikes!  Some distractions can be hard to avoid, but others can be planned for, such as habits with cell phones while driving.  I have a friend who puts her cell phone in the back seat of her vehicle just to avoid the temptation to use it while driving.  Drive a reasonable speed for the conditions. 

Driving slowly was never a problem for Grandpa Olyn, and it seemed especially true on Christmas Eve.  Better to arrive slowly than not at all.  I’m certainly thankful all those years that Grandma and Grandpa arrived back to our door safely.  I don’t think even Santa on his sleigh would have brought more excitement!  Safe travels this season. 

Below are some additional resources curated from the web for your edification.  

Montana Department of Transportation Winter Safety

Consumer Reports Car Care

Travel Sense Winter Travel Tips

Travel Channel Tips

Scrooge Goes $hopping!

 We are getting pretty close to the last minute for holiday shopping.  You’ve probably already sensed that I don’t like the pressure of gift-giving by a certain date or out of obligation.  And, I suppose, to be honest, it stresses me out to shop.  If you like shopping and selecting and wrapping gifts and it brings you joy, I am not here to discourage you.  You make up for people like me! A friend just described a 13-hour shopping excursion with such a beaming face,  that I wouldn’t want to take that away from anyone who enjoyed it so much.  Some people are very gifted at gift-giving.  Maybe I can be, too, when I’m not up against deadlines. 

Cranky at Christmas time?

One of the biggest shopping days of the year is December 26.  I wonder what that says about us.  I’m a little afraid it means we didn’t get what we wanted (or in the right size or color) and we are returning gifts. Consequently, I get discouraged about spending my time shopping to give a gift that someone else has to take the time to go “unshop” (otherwise known as returning or exchanging).  Why not save the time and let them buy their own gift in the first place? Apparently I am not alone in this thinking, as evidenced by the huge gift card industry.

As we get down to the wire, many people are tempted to give a gift card.  They cost very little to ship and many can be sent electronically.  According to the National Retail Federation, gift cards are the most requested gift item for the holidays for the eighth year in a row.  But, get ready, because I’m about to Grinch the gift cards, too.  For one thing, most gift cards are for a specific store, which ties the recipient to an item only from that store.  Frequently, the amount on the gift card and the amount of the purchase are different, which means that recipients either have to shell out extra cash from their own pocket (the gift that costs) or they leave a small balance on the card to be under the value, meaning you just gave less than you intended.  Of course, a few dollars isn’t a big deal, but added together it is a big deal.  One company, in 2011, reported $53 million in income from “breakage” or the amount paid for on cards unlikely to be redeemed.  A recent report said that in total Americans leave more than one Billion dollars on cards each year.  So, I guess, if you want to give a gift to a big business, go ahead.  But, if you are more interested in giving a gift that helps your niece or nephew, you may want to rethink the gift card.  Plus, I haven’t even touched on fees – initial fee, dormancy fee, usage and replacement fees.  If giving a gift card, read the fine print.

I would say, “go green” and just give cash, but I have some personal experience that leads me to advise you to write a check instead.  In addition to being safer to put through the post, a check can be re-issued if it is lost in the holiday havoc.  My husband recalls a memorable Christmas with his family one year.  Part way through Christmas Day someone went to find a few of their gifts and they were nowhere to be found, which started several of them looking.  It became a frantic finding festival with nothing found and then there was a flicker of memory from the night before.  Could it be that when the gift wrap was bundled up and taken to the garbage, the gifts (including cash gifts) had all gone to the trash, too?  Sure enough.  Unfortunately, the garbage in those days was disposed of in a burn barrel … that had been lit.  There were charred remains, evidence of the gifts (and cash) that went up in flames. On the bright side, while not funny at the time, it has become a fun holiday memory.

For many, the idea of giving money isn’t very exciting and may make you spend more than you otherwise would have, so the amount doesn’t look inadequate. For years, I avoided giving money because I could often find a “deal” that made it look like I spent more than I had.  Then I realized, that I probably wasn’t saving anything, or fooling anyone.  If the receiver returned the item, they would know what I spent anyway.  Plus, the extra impulse purchases made while shopping probably more than made up any difference between the “perceived” savings and the dollar amount I’d spend in a check.  I know that giving money doesn’t exude a ton of sentiment, and maybe I’m too practical.  Or boring, or a Scrooge.  Or maybe it is that I just have really good memories of getting money as gifts. 

Find Your Joy!
Photo by Greg Miller Photography

Grandma and Grandpa believed that “green” was everyone’s favorite color. It was pretty hard for my Grandma to get around.  She didn’t drive and was pretty much house-bound, as she had mobility impairments.  For her, shopping either meant a catalogue or waiting until Grandpa wanted to make the annual to the shopping mall in Havre.  Thus, they gave cash.  They were generous people, so it wasn’t anticlimactic.  Actually, we looked forward to the money each year.  In high school, most of their gift went to clothes that I would not otherwise have purchased.  In college, it often went for books for classes, so it helped me with my education.  A pretty important gift, I’d say.  Somewhere along the way, I started setting aside a portion to buy a keepsake -- a silver hair clip, a sapphire ring, a pretty necklace. 

If you love shopping and gift-giving, go ahead and knock yourself out.  But, if it usurps your joy, unburden yourself of the obligation.  So as much as one friend glowed while talking of shopping, another one had an expression of relief when she said she was going to give money this year instead or shopping this year.  We all have our own situations, stressors and strengths.  I just want to give you permission to fully embrace yours, whatever it is. 

Because when it comes to gifts, it isn’t really an object or money that matters – it is the gift YOU are to others that carries the most importance.  It has been said that there is no present like time.  What I cherish about my grandparents now is the time they gave me.  The lessons they taught.  The love they shared.  The greatest gifts my grandparents ever gave me I carry with me every day wrapped beautifully in memories in my heart. 

With MSU Extension in Teton County, this is Jane Wolery, encouraging you to think about the true gift YOU are to someone this holiday season.  

 

 Disclaimer:  My opinion is a gift.  If you don't like it, it is fully refundable and exchangeable.  I've even been known to exchange it for a new one myself from time to time.   Links provided below are in now way intended to support or fund or endorse.  They are just provided because I thought you might find them useful.  

Resources:

Shop Smart

Jean Chatzky

Fortune

Gift Card Regulations

Scaling Back for the Holidays?

At Thanksgiving, I blew it.  Through a wellness program at work, I’ve been receiving monthly coaching to meet some health-related goals.  The week of Thanksgiving, I had a call from my coach.  I had met one of my major goals in the six months of the program, so we spent some time discussing that success.  Then, she asked what my goals were during the holidays.  Because I have a bit of a problem with scale in my life, I said, “I will plan only one dessert for Thanksgiving dinner.”  The whole week of Thanksgiving I thought of my goal.  I really planned to scale back (in more ways than one) during the holidays.

On Wednesday, my oldest daughter made an upside-down Pumpkin Patch Pie Cake that has been a favorite from a 4-H demonstration by Kylee and Claire Ruckman years ago.  She was also planning to make whipped cream.  That should have been enough.  It was one 9x13 dessert.  And then, something happened.  A little thought, about the size of a pecan, started forming.  Surely a pecan pie would add to the meal.  Before I knew it, I was making pie at 9:30 p.m.  The only problem was that the pie crust recipe made enough for two pies.  The next problem was that my husband starting talking about what pie crust is best.  He likes the Gerry Smith pie crust we learned to make during a 4-H Clover Class – super flakey.  But, the pie I made used the Baker Bob pie crust, learned during an Extension class.  Of course, my mom got in the mix telling me that the pecan pie recipe she uses is lots easier (which I took to mean better) than the one I use.  Seriously, I am using a pecan pie recipe from my southern relatives and she is using one from the northern relatives.  Which one do you think is better?  The debates had to be settled. By midnight, not only did we have the Pumpkin Patch Pie Cake, but two pecan pies and two pumpkin pies – one type of pie from each crust.  Six people for Thanksgiving Dinner and five desserts.  Uh-oh.  Remember the goal?  One dessert.  As predicted, my problem with scale was soon going to be a problem on the scale!  On the upside, my teenage daughter likes to make pie, so she and I had a pretty enjoyable time in the kitchen that night.

My example notwithstanding, research has shown that people who set clear goals by writing them down or sharing them aloud with others (or both) are much more likely to meet their goals.  Goal setting increases motivation and achievement.  Goal setting can give you clarity. For instance, most of us have all kinds of opportunities for how we spend our time and there are loads of distractions that come our way daily. When we start our day with goals we want to accomplish in mind, we can make better decisions for how we spend our time.  Goals give us a way to filter the other opportunities that come our way. 

As a teacher, I set goals of what I want students to learn by the end of a lesson. Most of the best lessons are intentional and start with the end in mind.  One of the classes I’ve been teaching lately is called, Powerful Tools for Caregivers.  At the end of each class, participants are asked to write an action plan for the week.  The assignment is to do something for themselves that they really enjoy and want to do.  The goals have varied from going on a date night with their spouse to learning a new crochet stitch.  Once the goals have been written, each participant is asked to share their goals aloud.  The next week, at the beginning of class, we report on whether or not we’ve met our goals.  Guess what?  Nearly everyone always reaches their goals.  There is power in writing and sharing goals. 

We know that writing and sharing a financial or savings goal greatly increases the achievement. You can go to www.montanasaves.org to write/share your goal and receive support to reach it.  We know that for health goals, writing and sharing them accelerates the probability that the goals will be reached.  I would bet that writing goals for how to manage your holiday schedule and stresses would even improve the odds of successfully navigating the season in style!

The other good part about goals is that by stating them, you will have a way to evaluate progress.  In my case, if I hadn’t have stated a goal, I might not have even recognized I had gone a little overboard.    

Whether it is health, wealth, or holiday happenings, I encourage you to take a minute to write and share your goals for this week and this month.  After you get a little practice, start writing some long-term life goals.  Pretty soon reaching your goals will seem like a piece of cake … or is that a piece of pie?!

Pumpkin Patch Pie Cake

1 30 oz can pumpkin pie filling

2 eggs

1 5 oz can of evaporated milk

Mix together and pour into ungreased 9x13 pan.

1 yellow cake mix (no pudding)

½ c. butter slightly softened

Mix together with pastry blender or hands to make a crumbly mix.  Sprinkle over pumpkin.  Bake for 1 hour at 350 degrees F.  Let cool.  Refrigerate.  Serve upside down and top with whipped cream.

Whipped Cream

Heavy whipping cream

Powdered sugar

Vanilla

Use amounts to suit your needs and taste.  Pour heaving whipping cream into bowl.  Whip on high until it starts to get fluffy.  Add powdered sugar.  (Granulated sugar will work, too, but it seems that it will separate less in storage with the powdered sugar.)  Add vanilla to taste.  Beat until nice and fluffy, but not so long that it becomes sweet butter.

Gerry Smith’s Pie Crust Recipe from 4-H Clover Class

2 c. flour

½ tsp salt

½ tsp baking powder

2/3 c. vegetable oil (scant)

½ c. cold water

Mix dry ingredients in covered plastic container.  Add oil and water.  Put lid on container securely.  Shake 3-4 times and the dough will form a ball.  Roll between waxed paper to size for pie pan. 

*An addition my daughter learned from another 4-H family – add freshly ground nutmeg to dry ingredients if making crust for pumpkin pie.  I can imagine different spices could be added depending on type of pie.  Wonder what a little lemon zest would do for a lemon meringue pie?

Baker Bob’s Pie Crust from an Extension Class on Irish Pasties

½ recipe makes two pie crusts

4 c. flour

2 tsp salt  (I’d reduce by ½ for pie instead of pasties)

1 ½ c. lard (or shortening or butter)

10 tablespoons ice water

Place flour, salt and lard in bowl.  Quickly rub lard into flour with your fingertips until it resembles small peas.  Pour in the ice water and form into a ball.  Add more water if it feels to dry.  It is suggested to wrap in plastic and chill for an hour before rolling. 

Pecan Pie

1 unbaked pie shell

Mix together

3 eggs, beaten well

¾ c. sugar

¾ c. dark corn syrup

1 c. pecan halves

1 Tbsp. melted butter

Pour into pie shell.  Bake at 425 degrees F for 10 minutes, then finish until set at 325 degrees for approximately 30 minutes. 

Southern Pecan Pie

After the great pecan pie debate at my house, I think this recipe produces a smoother pie.

1 c. sugar

1 c. light corn syrup

1/3 c. butter

 4 eggs, beaten

1 tsp. vanilla extract

¼ tsp. salt

1-1   ½ c. pecan halves

1 unbaked pie shell

Combine first 3 ingredients in medium saucepan.  Cook over low heat, stirring constantly, until sugar dissolves and butter melts; cool slightly.  (Has to be cool enough not to cook the eggs – you can temper the mixture)  Add eggs, vanilla and salt; stir well.  Pour filling into pie shell; top with pecan halves.  Bake at 325 degrees F for 50-55 minutes.  

Resources:

SMART Goals

Action Plan

SMARTER Goals

SMARTER Goals Another Idea

Setting Goals

The Value of Writing Goals

Improve Concentration

Why People Who Write Goals Reach Them

MSU Extension

I just wanted to share a few video links with you!

Extension and MSU

100 Years! MSU Extension

Bah! Humbug! Just Breathe ...

I know last week I was a little bah-humbug about the holidays.  I really don’t mean to sound like Scrooge, but the holidays provide unique stressors for nearly everyone.  For me, it tends to be gift giving.  It stresses my time, energy, creativity and budget.  I don’t think I’m alone.  A conversation with my 10-year-old daughter revealed that she, too, is stressed about finding the right gifts for her family that fit within the confines of her time, talent and budget.  We talked about the gifts she brings that we appreciate most are not ones that can be put in a box and wrapped.  Her sense of humor and loving spirit are two much appreciated gifts.  Still, even 10-year-olds are not immune to the stresses of the season.

Maybe for you gift-giving isn’t the trigger.  Maybe food is a stressor for you.  All those high-sugar treats tempting you all the time.  It could be the extra events in the schedule that tax a limited energy supply.  Perhaps your stressor is a particular family member who pushes your buttons and who you can avoid most of the year, except during the holidays.  And, for many, the holidays bring to mind the person who isn’t at the holiday table this year, and never will be again. 

Life, with its joys and sorrows, doesn’t really consult dates on a calendar when it presents us with challenges.  It has been a long time ago now, but I remember two holiday seasons, in particular, where I vacillated between the joyfulness of the season and the clarity of future reality.  It was a little bit like being on a teeter-totter on a playground.  Thrilled when you were up and bracing for when you were down, never knowing if it was going to be a soft touch down, going right back up; or, if this was the time you hit hard and bounced off. 

In 2004, my family – the sisters, the spouses, the children and my parents – all decided to go to Lethbridge for a family vacation.  We planned to enjoy a water par
k and other holiday happenings the city had to offer.  We were one year into my Dad’s brain cancer at that point.  The idea was great, but the timing was bittersweet.  Dad had been doing pretty well, but during that trip, it became evident that the tumor was growing again.  The following year, we spent the holiday season with Dad at Peace Hospice in Great Falls.  As a mother with young children at the time, I tried to keep up the appearances of the holidays for their sake.  Looking back, it seems like a strange blur of all the right holiday dresses, food and decorations accompanied with the worry, the doctors and nurses, and the inevitable death of my father. 

I think all people have their own bittersweet at the holidays.  I think the trick is to find more sweet than bitter.  There are ways to counteract holiday stress triggers.  One way is to communicate your needs clearly to those around you.  If cooking the meal for a huge family gathering destroys your joy, do a potluck or ask everyone to bring one appetizer, or have everyone bring their favorite cereal and you supply the milk.  Your family will surely remember the year they had cold cereal for their holiday feast!  Or, skip the food entirely and do a game night.  Another way to combat stress is to get regular exercise.  Even if you have company or are traveling, set aside the time you normally would to walk, swim, run or stretch.  Try to keep your diet as regular as possible, maybe even putting a little more focus on getting a wide variety of colorful fruits and vegetables. Eat a healthy breakfast packed with whole grains and drink plenty of water. When you are well-nourished, it seems you can handle more of the stresses coming your way. 

You can also use a variety of breathing techniques to reduce stress.  One breathing technique I learned during my counselor training was to exhale through your mouth as long as possible.  When you can no longer breathe out, take a deep breath in.  This technique was recommended for people who had anxiety attacks.  When you are already anxious, you are pretty tight and then someone will say, “take a deep breath,” which is not possible because are tense.  If you breathe the air out of your lungs first, they have to refill.  It can be very helpful in stressful situations or when having trouble sleeping at night.  Just repeat the process a few times until your body relaxes. 

You can even use those devices we all seem to be carrying around to help you relieve stress during the holidays.  The Shop Smart magazine, produced by Consumer Reports, recommended a few apps for stress reduction, including Breathe2Relax, Buddhify, Omvana and more, plus a few recommended podcasts including those found at UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center.  If an app isn’t for you, perhaps set a timer to remind you to go for a walk or do some deep breathing, stretching and relaxation exercises. 

With some of the stress-reduction tips, I hope you will find yourself up more than down on this season’s see-saw.  

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Disclaimer:  I have faith that you will take what you can use from this blog and discard the rest.  I believe in your ability to discern whether or not to spend any money on products suggested.  I trust you to understand that I am not endorsing any particular commercially available product over another one of like quality and cost.  

Resources:

The resources below are links to other websites that may be of interest to you on the same topic as this blog.

A Simple Enough Holiday  -- After writing my post, I found this article.  The author and I seem to share many of the same sentiments.  Wonder if we are distantly related?  

Tips on Holiday Eating from Our Friends at Utah State University Extension

Coping with Stress from eXtension

Grief and the Holidays

And now a few words from the Christmas Witch ...

Around this time last year, a misguided and belated witch, presumably from Halloween, arrived to take over my psyche during the Christmas holiday season.  My family will recall that it nearly took an exorcism to remove her from my body.  I was very frustrated last year with the tasks related to the holiday season.  The tasks that annoyed me the most, and with Grinch-like stealth stole my pleasure, were related to gift-giving.  I know, “it is better to give than receive” and all that, but I was in no mood for either giving or receiving -- at least not tangible, store-bought items.  I was actually so uncharacteristically miserable about it last year that I vowed to reassign the gift detail to my husband this year.  We have a month to go to see how that works!

Maybe you also find yourself overwhelmed during the holidays.  There are a variety of tips that people can use to bring a better proportion to their holiday season, but for now, since my Scrooge-like focus is on gift giving, I’ll offer a few tips in that department.  One of my favorite ideas is to eliminate gift-giving entirely, when possible.  All those $5-10 gifts for the various groups your family belongs to, from work to clubs, really add up.  Not only in the monetary budget, but in the energy budget.  All the time spent shopping and deciding and wrapping only clutter your holidays.  And, really, when was the last time you got or gave a $10 gift that it was truly a needed item.  Most people can and will buy what they want for themselves in that price range.  My “gift” to many people in my world is that I will neither provide nor expect gifts from them.  Talk to your colleagues or your civic clubs and youth organizations and take a load off everyone and eliminate the gift exchange.

Another idea to reduce financial strain during the gift-giving hubbub is to start with the end in mind.  At the end of your purchases, you don’t want the residual gift to be perma-debt. Far too many households carry an extraordinary amount of credit card debt. People often get carried away, either with the impulse purchases during the holiday season or with the pressure to give really good (read expensive) gifts.  Jean Chatzky, author and financial editor for NBC's Today Show, recommends a budget of 1.5% of your household’s after-tax income be spent on holiday gifting.  According to the US Department of Labor, the mean wage in Montana is $39,000.  After subtracting 25%, as a general estimate for taxes, that leaves $29,250 multiplied by 1.5%, leaves $438 for a gift budget.  Based on this example, our average Joe Montanan, would write down everyone on his gift-giving list and figure out how to divide up his gift budget among those recipients.  According to Chatzky, 1.5% is the amount most Americans can pay off by February, if they charge holiday purchases.  Well, now, thanks to the math, I realize why I was so grumpy last year.  The price on the expected and advertised gifts well exceeded my 1.5% budget!

A friend offered another suggestion to reduce the stress of holiday shopping.  She only gives what she can buy locally.  Think about how much time is saved, and how much more pleasant the experience, when shopping where you live.  Perhaps the choices will be more limited than the gazillion options of online shopping, but it can be the gift that keeps giving – circulating money in the local economy.  Plus, it can be a great tool for those of us who suffer from TMC (Too Many Choices) syndrome. 

Another tip is to give only gifts you already own. Some of the most memorable and nicest gifts I’ve ever received were used and it actually was the “thought” that counted.  Among my favorite gifting ideas is to give services, such as oil changes, haircuts, house cleaning or to share your own talents by volunteering to mend or cook, or do odd jobs for which you are skilled.  I also like the idea of giving experiences, not things, which reduces clutter.  A great example I heard recently was when grandchildren, who never know what to get their grandmother anyway, decided to pay for her to participate in strength-training classes at her assisted-living facility.  One of my favorite gifts I received last year was from my mother, who bought tickets for our family and our neighbors to enjoy a Phil Aaberg concert in Chester.  It was the highlight of my otherwise self-induced surly season last year. 

 

This year, Phil Aaberg will be in Choteau on December 11 giving his talents to help the group.  This group gives support to people in our community who are developing their own talents, but may not be able to afford parts of their training.  These

are the gifts that keep on giving.
Opportunities for All

This year, I hope to take my witch’s broom and sweep away at least a few of the strains of the season.  Maybe some of the ideas will work for you to be holly and jolly, too.  

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Jean Chatzky Holiday Spending

MSU Tips on Jolly

Holiday Stress

Montana $aves $cavenger Hunt

I wanted to share the information below about a great opportunity to engage young people in learning about financial fitness.  Last year, we had several area students who completed the scavenger hunt and won the drawing for $100.  For more details, keep reading ...


Montana State University Extension is offering two Montana $aves $cavenger Hunts as a part of the America Saves program during 2014-2015.  The hunts are specifically designed for two age groups:  11-14 and 15-19.  Students will learn about the benefits saving and investing, how credit can be a friend for foe, and how to be in control of their money.

Students who complete the Montana $aves $cavenger Hunt are eligible for a drawing for one of 33 cash awards of $100 in each age group during America Saves week February 23-27, 2015. The 66 cash awards for Montana students are courtesy of generous sponsors.

The Montana $aves $cavenger Hunt can be used by teachers who want to incorporate learning about finances into their classes in family and consumer sciences, economics, math, or social studies.  The $cavenger Hunt could also be utilized as an extra credit opportunity for students to complete “after hours” at home or the local library.

Students have until February 20, 2015 to complete the 9 quizzes for the Montana $aves $cavenger Hunt.  The hunts do not have to be completed all at one time.

The Montana Saves Website has links to all the Montana $aves $cavenger Hunt materials:
Invitation to Students, Posters for each age group, and a list of websites for all quizzes.  Teachers whose students participated last year indicated a list of the websites for the school Computer Technician would be helpful.  You can print out the list or refer your Computer Technician to the site. www.montanasaves.org/

You are invited to review the Hunts to gain a better understanding of how this educational tool would be of benefit to youth.

The website for ages 11–14 (as of September 1, 2014). www.msuextension.org/montanasavesscavengerhunt1
The website for ages is 15–19 (as of September 1, 2014). www.msuextension.org/montanasavesscavengerhunt2

Please contact Marsha Goetting, MSU Extension, at goetting@montana.edu with questions.

Powerful Tools for Caregivers -- Classes Set November 5-December 10

According to AARP’s 2012 “Across the States Report”, Montana had 131,000 family caregivers in 2009 providing care-giving services valued at 1.39 million dollars. The same study showed that only 12% of caregivers have used respite services and 88% of caregivers never get a break from their fulltime caregiver responsibilities.

MSU Extension recognizes the importance of caregivers.  Teton County will be offering a Powerful Tools for Caregivers class from November 5-December 10, 2-4 p.m. in Fairfield at the 3 Rivers board room.  To register for the six-week class, call 466-2491.  The class is $30, which covers the cost of the course book.  Pre-registration is suggested; however, we recognize that the life of a caregiver can be challenging.  Class participants will be accepted to the first class on November 5, regardless of pre-registration. 

The Powerful Tools for Caregivers Class can make a significant difference in the way caregivers take care of themselves in order to better provide care giving for their loved ones. The Powerful Tools for Caregivers Program sponsored by Extension helps participants learn to:

                Use community resources

                Better manage stress

                Communicate effectively with family, friends and healthcare providers

                Cope with difficult emotions

                Take better steps to care for themselves

There are some excellent tools taught in this program for the people in our county who are doing the very important work of caregiving.

Resources:

Powerful Tools for Caregivers

MSU Extension Powerful Tools for Caregivers

Want more information on
aging and caregiving?

• eXtension Family Caregiving
• American Association of Retired Persons (AARP)
• Eldercare
• National Association of Area Agencies on Aging
• U.S. Administration on Aging
• Hospice Foundation of America
• National Family Caregivers Association
• National Alliance for Caregiving
• Family Caregiver Support Network
• Family Caregiver Alliance
• The American Geriatrics Society
• Home Instead Senior Care

What Will Your Power of Ten Be?

As we celebrate 100 years of MSU Extension in Montana, I’ve thought about the Power of Ten.  In the case of MSU Extension, I think about the power of ten decades of service.  Our office has offered a Power of Ten challenge.  If you take just ten minutes, ten hours or ten days to contribute in some way to your community, it can carry forward.  Generally, the work carries forward in ways you cannot predict at the outset.  I’ve been thinking lately about the positive impact we can have, big or small.  Before I moved to Teton County, Jessica Schlepp, a 4-H member, had an idea for a service project.  She thought that the county 4-H membership could go door-to-door to collect food that could be given to the local food bank and redistributed to those in need.  She called it Trick or Treat for the Food Pantry.  I asked her mother recently when Jessica started the project.  A quick look in her 4-H record book revealed that the project started in 1991.  What Jessica probably didn’t know at the time was how long the effort would continue, or the additional benefits.

                Through the years, the food drive project has been handed down to 4-H members to organize.  Each year, 4-H members volunteer to organize the event.  This year, as it turns out, we have the Power of Ten.  Ten 4-H youth are planning the food drive this year.  It requires leadership, teamwork, planning, communication skills, promoting and organizational skills.  Honing these skills are additional benefits to a charitable effort.   I’ve been involved with the food drives for sixteen years.  In that time, sixteen different teams of 4-H members have worked to plan the event.  We have had two meetings this year and consulting schedules for school, sports, church, food pantry, and facilities has provided ample opportunity for problem solving.  While they sort out the logistics, their goal of gathering as much food for the needy as possible is always in mind.  The 4-H members will be out in force in Choteau on Wednesday, October 15 from 3:30-7:00 p.m. gathering food.  If you’d like to contribute but won’t be home, you can leave non-perishable items in a bag or box by your front door and we will pick up the food.  4-H members in other communities in Teton County also plan food drives at different times of year, providing needed food for the food pantry. 

                Looking at the records, 4-H youth have gathered between 900 and 2000 pounds each year.  Estimating an average of 1450 pounds a year since 1991, Teton County 4-H youth and volunteers have gathered 31,900 pounds of food to feed the hungry.  I’ll bet Jessica never thought the project would carry on so long or have such a lasting impact.

                What lasting impact would you like to have?  Take at least 10 minutes today to plan something that you can lend your effort to that will multiply in power through the years.  Whether it is one person with a good idea or ten people continuing it forward, we can all make our world better.  We challenge you to be the Power of Ten as we celebrate 100 years of Extension. 

                 

Focus Group -- Ages 40-64

Montana State University, Cornell University, and Tufts University are developing a new program for residents in rural Montana towns that aims to promote heart health through things such as healthier eating, more physical activity, reducing stress, and quitting smoking. The Montana towns that are participating in this study are: Broadus, Choteau, Harlowtown, Lewistown, Livingston, Miles City, Plentywood, Rudyard, Shelby, and Thompson Falls.

To best tailor the program, two discussion groups are being conducted this fall in each of the ten participating towns. The study team seeks men and women who are 40-64 and consider themselves part of the Choteau community. The discussions will be hosted by the local extension office and held on October 6.  Women will meet from noon-1:30 p.m. and men will meet from 5:30-7:00 p.m. with 8-12 individuals.  A light meal will be served.  The discussion group participants will receive $25 for their time. 

If you’d like to participate in a discussion group or have any questions about the study, please contact the Extension Office.  

The Power of 10 -- Decades!

This year is the celebration of 100 years of Montana State University Extension.  Because MSU Extension has a long tradition of meeting community needs, we would like to challenge you to celebrate the Power of 10 with us!  We’ve been serving Montanans for 10 decades. Can you give 10 minutes a day or 10 hours between September 10 and October 10 to serve your community to help us celebrate? 

Below is a list of ways for you to serve your community.  Please share with us what you plan to do or what you complete between September 10 and October 10!  We are capturing the results.  Take a picture to send us, post a comment on this blog, drop us a note or email to let us know what you did.  If you want, wear MSU Blue and Gold while you serve!  What you do today may matter in 10 minutes, 10 days, 10 years or 10 decades.  Be the Power of 10 with MSU Extension!

1. Help someone weed their yard
2. Bake someone dinner who needs it
3. Donate food to a food pantry
4. Pick up trash
5. Think of someone who needs to be taken to lunch and do it
6. Give someone a ride who needs it
7. Volunteer to drive someone to and from a medical appointment
8. Volunteer at the library
9. Read to somebody
10. Rake someone’s yard
11. Help at an animal rescue center
12. Donate to a local thrift store
13. Reinforce a creek bed (call Extension Office for details)
14. Offer to paint the exterior of a house that needs it
15. Offer to haul off large items, such as refrigerators or abandoned vehicles
16. Teach a child a skill
17. Volunteer to do activities at Bee Hive Homes, nursing homes, Skyline Lodge
18. Shovel a sidewalk
19. Trim a tree that obstructs walkers on sidewalks
20. Do some random act of kindness daily
21. Leave positive, encouraging notes where people will see them
22. Call someone you’ve been thinking of
23. Check in on an elderly neighbor
24. Walk someone across the street
25. Deliver groceries to someone who needs
26. Volunteer at the school – make copies, read to a child, help a teacher, clean or organize
27. Pay for the person behind you at the drive thru
28. Leave a gift for someone in a random public place such as on a park bench, at a bus stop, the library, a coffee house, or restaurant
29. Praise someone at work for a job well done 
30. Volunteer at a homeless shelter
31. Stop and listen when someone needs to talk
32. Organize a clothing drive
33. Teach someone a new technology or skill
34. Take a petting zoo to a nursing home
35. Send a thank you note or expression of gratefulness to someone who has made a difference to you
36. Help people register to vote
37. Thank a service worker or volunteer – ambulance, fire fighters, law enforcement, etc.
38. Help a family with young children
39. Make freezer meals for a shut-in
40. Start an effort to help an individual or a group
41. Help someone declutter their world
42. Offer to babysit for free for a family or public meeting 
43. Plant a tree or flowers in a neglected area 
44. Help winterize a home
45. Shop for someone who is homebound or ill, especially in bad weather.
46. Smile at someone
47. The next time you have exceptional service make sure to tell the person’s manager 
48. Donate your used books and/or magazines to a local library
49. Adopt a “grand-friend”
50. Clean the gutters or wash windows for a senior citizen
51. Write a letter to an older person
52. Forgive someone who has wronged you
53. Give a presentation to a classroom of students on your occupation or an area of interest that you are passionate about
54. Send a care package to a college student or someone else in transition
55. Donate your expertise to someone in need
56. Volunteer to deliver meals for senior centers
57. Stick up for a person who has been treated wrongly
58. Let someone, who only has a few items, go ahead of you in the checkout line of the grocery store
59. Invite someone new for dinner such as a neighbor, co-worker, friend, or family member.
60. Welcome a new resident to the community
61. Run an errand for someone in need
62. Play a game with somebody
63. Organize a group to address a community need
64. Get permission from an owner of an empty lot and do something to beautify it
65. Fix a sidewalk
66. Beautify your area or help someone else
67. Erect a fountain or some other monument in a town center
68. Raise funds to improve a public building
69. Put out a park bench or chairs to create a welcoming space
70. Donate money to support someone’s music or art lessons
71.  Teach a class
72. Donate garden produce to someone who would appreciate it
73. Think about what your community needs in the next 100 years and work toward one thing
74. Teach a dance class
75. Shop at a local family-owned business
76. Start an adult literacy program
77. Get certified in CPR and first aid
78. Join a civic organization
79. Find an important cause and volunteer
80. Recruit someone new to your community organization
81. Provide healthy snacks for a classroom
82. Carpool somewhere
83. Adopt a “grand-child”
84. Exercise with someone
85. Encourage the discouraged
86. Donate money or time to a local charity
87. Give blood
88. Sign up to train to volunteer as an EMT or fire fighter
89. Organize a neighborhood library box, where you put books you’ve enjoyed and leave them for others to take.  A “give and take” library that builds neighborhood connections
90. Collect aluminum cans or other recyclables and donate money to a favorite charity
91. Clean up a river or creek bed
92. Organize a nature education and adventure walk
93. Organize a bike check and bike safety education program
94. Organize a child-safety car seat check
95. Interview older people and record their history, share with community and family
96. Make fleece blankets to donate to those in need
97. Help gather and catalogue copies of historic photos from your community
98. Campaign for better marked cross walks
99. Help correct problem areas where water and ice buildup creating walking hazards
100. Keep going with the power of 10 – Try to do 10 minutes a day of service to others or 10 hours a month serving your community in some way