Unwrapping the Gift of 4-H

On December 23, youth from Teton County shared in the gift we call 4-H at a project day event.  Older 4-H members had been invited through the county 4-H newsletter to teach classes for the project day planned for the afternoon of Wednesday, December 23, a time when all schools in the county were closed for holiday break.  4-H members who provided leadership included Daniel Asselstine, Delaynie Beadle, Michaela Gunderson, Ben Roeder, Watson Snyder and Annie Townsend.  Each of the older 4-H members either planned and taught or assisted an extension agent teaching a class.  The learning was also supported by 4-H alum, Katie Townsend, and MSU Extension Teton County Administrative assistants, Jamie Smith and Rhea Brutosky.

After 20 youth had sewn tote bags, sewn owl-shaped rice bags, baked and decorated cupcakes, learned about synthetic vs. natural fibers, made felted wool canning jar cozies, sheared sheep, learned jitterbug and two-step moves, made survival bands, painted chalkboard coasters and decorated gift bags, the group of 4-H members talked about the way people give their gifts to others.  One of the 4-H members learned her cake decorating skills from a volunteer 4-H leader and brought the gift forward to share with others.  Another 4-H member learned her sewing skills from her mother and with the help of evaluators/judges at sewing contests and was sharing that skill not only at 4-H project day, but also by helping younger 4-H members individually and through her club.  Another 4-H member gained dance skills from his parents and neighbors and then continued self-study using internet resources.  We talked about how important it is when someone shares the gift of their time and talent with you to wrap up that gift and present it to others.  4-H is one way to keep gifts giving well into the future.

 

To complete the project day, Extension Agents Brent Roeder and Jane Wolery discussed with youth that the 4-H members already contained the necessary gifts to excel on a local, state and national level.  However, 4-H members need to know what is available and how to unwrap a larger goal into smaller pieces.  Several 4-H members had personal experiences they shared related to opportunities, such as Rec Lab, interstate and international exchanges and National 4-H Congress.  The group discussed about 30 different 4-H opportunities and events just waiting be unwrapped by Teton County 4-H members.  

We invite you to think about the gifts you can give to others in 2016.

Here is a small sampling of opportunities available through 4-H (listed in no particular order).  To learn more, contact your local MSU Extension agent in your county.

1.  Ambassador program
2.   State officer
3.   Interstate Exchange
4.   State 4-H Congress
5.   Camp Counselor
6.   Rec Lab
7.  Winter Teen Camp
8.   State Leadership Forum
9.  State Award
10. National 4-H Congress
11. National 4-H Conference
12. Citizenship Washington Focus CWF
13. Leadership Washington Focus LWF
14. Make It with Wool MIWW
15. IFYE Program
16. Japanese Exchange
17. Natural Resources Camp
18. Nile Merit Heifer
19. Ag Youth Loan programs
20. Livestock judging and evaluation
21. Fall Ambassador training
22. Communications Contest
23. Alberta Leaders Forum
24. Citizenship Seminar
25. Horse and Livestock Leaders Forum
26. State Horse Show
27. Western Heritage Shoot
28. County Textile Show
29. Range Camp
30. Western National Round Up

Dedicated to the Ones You Love ...

In our home, Valentine’s Day is an important celebration.  Not so much for the sake of Valentine’s Day itself, but because it is my sweetheart’s birthday.  Have you thought about what you will give the ones you love for Valentine’s?  You could choose the typical flowers, perfume or cologne, a nice meal; but, what if you chose to get your affairs in order instead?  So often, we go through the busy-ness of life, and put off the really important tasks, like updating a will or double-checking beneficiaries on policies or checking how contractual arrangements are titled. 

This month, we will be talking about tasks necessary to protect and provide for the ones you love.  It can be the sweetest thing you can do for the loves of your life.  Let’s start with wills.  Do you have one?  If not, you should know the laws of intestate succession, which are the rules the state of Montana uses to distribute your property, if you haven’t created a will.  In the Montguide, Dying Without a Will in Montana: Who Receives Your Property, Marsha Goetting writes, “Although Montanan’s are quite conscientious about their property while they are alive, 70 percent of these same thoughtful people make no provisions for its management and distribution after their deaths.”  Even though the laws make sense for many people, they might not make sense for you.  If you’d like to use an interactive tool to see how your property would be distributed, visit www.montana.edu/dyingwithoutawill.

Just as an example, in my own situation, with a husband and two children between us, if I die, all goes to my spouse.  Nothing would go to my surviving parent, my mom.  Without a will, I would have to trust (and I do) that my husband would make good decisions regarding our finances, property and our children.  While our situation is fairly straight forward, there are numerous scenarios that exist in families. For instance, do you know if step children will be treated in the same way as biological children, if you die without a will?  If you have no children or no spouse, do you know what will happen to your property without a will?  If not, it is time to find out.  One thing we know for sure is that we all have an expiration date.  The only problem is that it isn’t marked on the outside of our cartons.  You might as well plan for it now, so your affairs are in order when it happens.  It is a great thing to do this month for the people you love  

Resources You'll LOVE!

Estate Planning

List of MSU Extension Estate Planning Resources

True Gifts

You have put up with my grumbling and griping about the stresses of the holiday season, and possibly gleaned a few tips amidst the grouching to deal with your particular stressors.  I hope you’ve been able to incorporate ideas that resonated with you and you have thrown the rest out of the sleigh!  I actually put a few of my own tips into practice, reducing my holiday stress.  After the Christmas witch I was last year, I promised to turn over one of my big stressors – gift giving – to my husband.  And, for the most part, he was in the captain’s seat this year.  He made most of the choices.  I co-piloted by budgeting, bill-paying and gift wrapping.  The gift wrapping wasn’t even so bad this year, since I learned how to gift wrap for a 4-H lesson a few years ago.  If you want, you can see the Wrap Artist, just keep in mind it was for the purposes of showing how to do a 4-H demonstration. Just the same, it surprising how learning a few great tips can take the stress out of a situation.  

 

As we head into the New Year, my mind is still on gifts, but not the ones that can be boxed, wrapped and tied up with string.  It is the gifts we all bring that are unwrapping around our community daily.  One of the great gifts for my family was the Phil Aaberg concert.  We sit with our faces aglow from being in the midst of such artistry.  To watch him share his great gift with the world is powerfully uplifting. 

 While Phil Aaberg is accustomed to playing in many venues, nine years ago, I saw him share his big talent in a very small room to uplift residents and relatives at the Peace Hospice Residential Facility in Great Falls.  By December that year, my Dad had been in hospice care three and a half months.  My mother moved right in with him, not leaving his side until hours after his spirit had left his body.  Witnessing their dedication and love during Dad’s final days on earth was a gift I will always cherish.  As their time together was coming to an end, there was not much my mother was looking forward to that season, but she did look forward to when Phil was coming and invited me to be there.  Phil sat down in the parlor area, with an intimate and appreciative audience of about 20 people and lit up some of the darkness.  What a gift!

Because of Opportunities for All Scholarship, Inc., Phil Aaberg was able to be in Choteau, lighting up the holiday season for 300 people.  Because of generous donations from a variety of people and businesses, the concert was offered as a free-will donation, making it available to anyone, no matter their financial circumstances.  Those in attendance gave their gifts by sharing $3200 to be used to support people, mostly youth, pursue a potential talent.  Wouldn’t it be a shame if years ago, when Phil Aaberg was a young boy, his talent was left uncultivated, just for the lack of money?  Opportunities for All Scholarship committee recognizes that all of us can cultivate a skill that turns into a passion that turns into a talent that can be shared with others.  But, cultivating a skill takes time and assistance, and lessons and practice.  Our county and communities are better because of the volunteers who give their gifts by serving on the Opportunities for All Scholarship board.

In 2008, Dr. Doug Steele, Dan Clark and Paul Lachapelle with MSU Extension and the Local Government Center, brought their gifts of vision and leadership by connecting Teton County with the Horizons poverty reduction program.  Through the several phases of the community development work (from study circles to Leadership Plenty classes), participants in Teton County brought their gifts and insights and energy.  Participants spent quite a bit of effort to define poverty, which is not only about economics.  It can also be about communities being underfunded in an area of development.  OFAS was one of the projects that was born out of the Horizons program.  Another gift that was already developing was Neighbors Helping Neighbors and they got a boost from the Horizons program, too.  This boost allowed them to amplify their efforts connecting people to the resources they need.  In time, as the Jaycees disbanded, the Caring Tree project found a home with Neighbors Helping Neighbors.

Since we are speaking of gifts, the Caring Tree volunteers and donors give a huge gift to those in need during the season.  Having been involved with that program as a volunteer for many years, I know that some families only need help temporarily.  One family, who received gifts from the Caring Tree for a few years during some challenging times and asked for very practical items like winter coats for their kids, is now taking tags from the tree and filling them.  Whether paying it back or paying it forward, your kindness to others is a huge gift.

The true gifts you bring are golden.  

With my Extension work, I’m able to repeatedly see the true gifts we all bring to our communities.  From  4-H leaders sharing their knowledge and resources with 4-H youth to the 4-H youth serving their community through food drives and other service projects, I see the gifts.  From the participant in Extension classes sharing their own life lessons at the right time and place for another’s benefit to the fair judges who inspire a youth to push to a higher level of quality, I see the gifts. 

It doesn’t take much, when you take a minute to look around, to see the true gifts being shared in our world.  In 2015, I encourage you to look for ways to share your special gifts with those around you, because it has been my experience that one good gift always leads to another. Put your good out there and trust it will get delivered to the right recipient at the right time. From MSU Extension in Teton County, thank you to those who have been such a special present to our communities.

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Opportunities for All -- From Choteau School newsletter March 2013:

Opportunities for All Scholarships is a 501(c)3 organization that was created as part of the Horizons program brought to Choteau by the Extension Service in 2008. During the initial Horizons meetings, areas of need in our community were discussed and solutions sought.

One of the concerns was the difficulty for low-income families and individuals to participate in enrichment activities such as music lessons, 4-H club membership, swimming lessons, online classes, fitness programs, and so forth because of budget limitations and the lack of discretionary funds.

OFAS was formed to help make enrichment activities available to all. The organization offers a $250 individual scholarship to anyone who lives in Teton County and meets the financial guidelines, which are the same as those used for families to be eligible for free or reduced-price meals at school. Applicants are asked to complete a one-page application and provide proof of financial eligibility. Individuals may apply once every 12 months. Awards are limited to two per family in a 12-month period.

Since its inception, OFAS has provided awards for a variety of enrichment activities, including music lessons, swimming lessons, preschool scholarships, fitness programs and Close Up scholarships.

If a scholarship could help you, please do not hesitate to apply. Applications are available at the high school office, the Choteau/Teton Public Library and the Choteau Acantha newspaper office. If you would like to support the scholarship program, donations may be left at the Acantha or mailed to Opportunities for All Scholarships, P.O. Box 1134, Choteau, MT 59422.

Opportunities

Bah! Humbug! Just Breathe ...

I know last week I was a little bah-humbug about the holidays.  I really don’t mean to sound like Scrooge, but the holidays provide unique stressors for nearly everyone.  For me, it tends to be gift giving.  It stresses my time, energy, creativity and budget.  I don’t think I’m alone.  A conversation with my 10-year-old daughter revealed that she, too, is stressed about finding the right gifts for her family that fit within the confines of her time, talent and budget.  We talked about the gifts she brings that we appreciate most are not ones that can be put in a box and wrapped.  Her sense of humor and loving spirit are two much appreciated gifts.  Still, even 10-year-olds are not immune to the stresses of the season.

Maybe for you gift-giving isn’t the trigger.  Maybe food is a stressor for you.  All those high-sugar treats tempting you all the time.  It could be the extra events in the schedule that tax a limited energy supply.  Perhaps your stressor is a particular family member who pushes your buttons and who you can avoid most of the year, except during the holidays.  And, for many, the holidays bring to mind the person who isn’t at the holiday table this year, and never will be again. 

Life, with its joys and sorrows, doesn’t really consult dates on a calendar when it presents us with challenges.  It has been a long time ago now, but I remember two holiday seasons, in particular, where I vacillated between the joyfulness of the season and the clarity of future reality.  It was a little bit like being on a teeter-totter on a playground.  Thrilled when you were up and bracing for when you were down, never knowing if it was going to be a soft touch down, going right back up; or, if this was the time you hit hard and bounced off. 

In 2004, my family – the sisters, the spouses, the children and my parents – all decided to go to Lethbridge for a family vacation.  We planned to enjoy a water par
k and other holiday happenings the city had to offer.  We were one year into my Dad’s brain cancer at that point.  The idea was great, but the timing was bittersweet.  Dad had been doing pretty well, but during that trip, it became evident that the tumor was growing again.  The following year, we spent the holiday season with Dad at Peace Hospice in Great Falls.  As a mother with young children at the time, I tried to keep up the appearances of the holidays for their sake.  Looking back, it seems like a strange blur of all the right holiday dresses, food and decorations accompanied with the worry, the doctors and nurses, and the inevitable death of my father. 

I think all people have their own bittersweet at the holidays.  I think the trick is to find more sweet than bitter.  There are ways to counteract holiday stress triggers.  One way is to communicate your needs clearly to those around you.  If cooking the meal for a huge family gathering destroys your joy, do a potluck or ask everyone to bring one appetizer, or have everyone bring their favorite cereal and you supply the milk.  Your family will surely remember the year they had cold cereal for their holiday feast!  Or, skip the food entirely and do a game night.  Another way to combat stress is to get regular exercise.  Even if you have company or are traveling, set aside the time you normally would to walk, swim, run or stretch.  Try to keep your diet as regular as possible, maybe even putting a little more focus on getting a wide variety of colorful fruits and vegetables. Eat a healthy breakfast packed with whole grains and drink plenty of water. When you are well-nourished, it seems you can handle more of the stresses coming your way. 

You can also use a variety of breathing techniques to reduce stress.  One breathing technique I learned during my counselor training was to exhale through your mouth as long as possible.  When you can no longer breathe out, take a deep breath in.  This technique was recommended for people who had anxiety attacks.  When you are already anxious, you are pretty tight and then someone will say, “take a deep breath,” which is not possible because are tense.  If you breathe the air out of your lungs first, they have to refill.  It can be very helpful in stressful situations or when having trouble sleeping at night.  Just repeat the process a few times until your body relaxes. 

You can even use those devices we all seem to be carrying around to help you relieve stress during the holidays.  The Shop Smart magazine, produced by Consumer Reports, recommended a few apps for stress reduction, including Breathe2Relax, Buddhify, Omvana and more, plus a few recommended podcasts including those found at UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center.  If an app isn’t for you, perhaps set a timer to remind you to go for a walk or do some deep breathing, stretching and relaxation exercises. 

With some of the stress-reduction tips, I hope you will find yourself up more than down on this season’s see-saw.  

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Disclaimer:  I have faith that you will take what you can use from this blog and discard the rest.  I believe in your ability to discern whether or not to spend any money on products suggested.  I trust you to understand that I am not endorsing any particular commercially available product over another one of like quality and cost.  

Resources:

The resources below are links to other websites that may be of interest to you on the same topic as this blog.

A Simple Enough Holiday  -- After writing my post, I found this article.  The author and I seem to share many of the same sentiments.  Wonder if we are distantly related?  

Tips on Holiday Eating from Our Friends at Utah State University Extension

Coping with Stress from eXtension

Grief and the Holidays

And now a few words from the Christmas Witch ...

Around this time last year, a misguided and belated witch, presumably from Halloween, arrived to take over my psyche during the Christmas holiday season.  My family will recall that it nearly took an exorcism to remove her from my body.  I was very frustrated last year with the tasks related to the holiday season.  The tasks that annoyed me the most, and with Grinch-like stealth stole my pleasure, were related to gift-giving.  I know, “it is better to give than receive” and all that, but I was in no mood for either giving or receiving -- at least not tangible, store-bought items.  I was actually so uncharacteristically miserable about it last year that I vowed to reassign the gift detail to my husband this year.  We have a month to go to see how that works!

Maybe you also find yourself overwhelmed during the holidays.  There are a variety of tips that people can use to bring a better proportion to their holiday season, but for now, since my Scrooge-like focus is on gift giving, I’ll offer a few tips in that department.  One of my favorite ideas is to eliminate gift-giving entirely, when possible.  All those $5-10 gifts for the various groups your family belongs to, from work to clubs, really add up.  Not only in the monetary budget, but in the energy budget.  All the time spent shopping and deciding and wrapping only clutter your holidays.  And, really, when was the last time you got or gave a $10 gift that it was truly a needed item.  Most people can and will buy what they want for themselves in that price range.  My “gift” to many people in my world is that I will neither provide nor expect gifts from them.  Talk to your colleagues or your civic clubs and youth organizations and take a load off everyone and eliminate the gift exchange.

Another idea to reduce financial strain during the gift-giving hubbub is to start with the end in mind.  At the end of your purchases, you don’t want the residual gift to be perma-debt. Far too many households carry an extraordinary amount of credit card debt. People often get carried away, either with the impulse purchases during the holiday season or with the pressure to give really good (read expensive) gifts.  Jean Chatzky, author and financial editor for NBC's Today Show, recommends a budget of 1.5% of your household’s after-tax income be spent on holiday gifting.  According to the US Department of Labor, the mean wage in Montana is $39,000.  After subtracting 25%, as a general estimate for taxes, that leaves $29,250 multiplied by 1.5%, leaves $438 for a gift budget.  Based on this example, our average Joe Montanan, would write down everyone on his gift-giving list and figure out how to divide up his gift budget among those recipients.  According to Chatzky, 1.5% is the amount most Americans can pay off by February, if they charge holiday purchases.  Well, now, thanks to the math, I realize why I was so grumpy last year.  The price on the expected and advertised gifts well exceeded my 1.5% budget!

A friend offered another suggestion to reduce the stress of holiday shopping.  She only gives what she can buy locally.  Think about how much time is saved, and how much more pleasant the experience, when shopping where you live.  Perhaps the choices will be more limited than the gazillion options of online shopping, but it can be the gift that keeps giving – circulating money in the local economy.  Plus, it can be a great tool for those of us who suffer from TMC (Too Many Choices) syndrome. 

Another tip is to give only gifts you already own. Some of the most memorable and nicest gifts I’ve ever received were used and it actually was the “thought” that counted.  Among my favorite gifting ideas is to give services, such as oil changes, haircuts, house cleaning or to share your own talents by volunteering to mend or cook, or do odd jobs for which you are skilled.  I also like the idea of giving experiences, not things, which reduces clutter.  A great example I heard recently was when grandchildren, who never know what to get their grandmother anyway, decided to pay for her to participate in strength-training classes at her assisted-living facility.  One of my favorite gifts I received last year was from my mother, who bought tickets for our family and our neighbors to enjoy a Phil Aaberg concert in Chester.  It was the highlight of my otherwise self-induced surly season last year. 

 

This year, Phil Aaberg will be in Choteau on December 11 giving his talents to help the group.  This group gives support to people in our community who are developing their own talents, but may not be able to afford parts of their training.  These

are the gifts that keep on giving.
Opportunities for All

This year, I hope to take my witch’s broom and sweep away at least a few of the strains of the season.  Maybe some of the ideas will work for you to be holly and jolly, too.  

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Jean Chatzky Holiday Spending

MSU Tips on Jolly

Holiday Stress