We are getting pretty
close to the last minute for holiday shopping.
You’ve probably already sensed that I don’t like the pressure of
gift-giving by a certain date or out of obligation. And, I suppose, to be honest, it stresses me
out to shop. If you like shopping and
selecting and wrapping gifts and it brings you joy, I am not here to discourage
you. You make up for people like me! A
friend just described a 13-hour shopping excursion with such a beaming face, that I wouldn’t want to take that away from
anyone who enjoyed it so much. Some
people are very gifted at gift-giving.
Maybe I can be, too, when I’m not up against deadlines.
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| Cranky at Christmas time? |
One of the biggest shopping days of the year is December
26. I wonder what that says about
us. I’m a little afraid it means we
didn’t get what we wanted (or in the right size or color) and we are returning
gifts. Consequently, I get discouraged about spending my time shopping to give
a gift that someone else has to take the time to go “unshop” (otherwise known
as returning or exchanging). Why not
save the time and let them buy their own gift in the first place? Apparently I
am not alone in this thinking, as evidenced by the huge gift card industry.
As we get down to the wire, many people are tempted to give
a gift card. They cost very little to
ship and many can be sent electronically.
According to the National Retail Federation, gift cards are the most
requested gift item for the holidays for the eighth year in a row. But, get ready, because I’m about to Grinch
the gift cards, too. For one thing, most
gift cards are for a specific store, which ties the recipient to an item only
from that store. Frequently, the amount
on the gift card and the amount of the purchase are different, which means that
recipients either have to shell out extra cash from their own pocket (the gift
that costs) or they leave a small balance on the card to be under the value,
meaning you just gave less than you intended.
Of course, a few dollars isn’t a big deal, but added together it is a
big deal. One company, in 2011, reported
$53 million in income from “breakage” or the amount paid for on cards unlikely
to be redeemed. A recent report said
that in total Americans leave more than one Billion dollars on cards each year. So, I guess, if you want to give a gift to a big
business, go ahead. But, if you are more
interested in giving a gift that helps your niece or nephew, you may want to
rethink the gift card. Plus, I haven’t
even touched on fees – initial fee, dormancy fee, usage and replacement fees. If giving a gift card, read the fine print.
I would say, “go green” and just give cash, but I have some
personal experience that leads me to advise you to write a check instead. In addition to being safer to put through the
post, a check can be re-issued if it is lost in the holiday havoc. My husband recalls a memorable Christmas with
his family one year. Part way through
Christmas Day someone went to find a few of their gifts and they were nowhere
to be found, which started several of them looking. It became a frantic finding festival with
nothing found and then there was a flicker of memory from the night before. Could it be that when the gift wrap was
bundled up and taken to the garbage, the gifts (including cash gifts) had all
gone to the trash, too? Sure
enough. Unfortunately, the garbage in
those days was disposed of in a burn barrel … that had been lit. There were charred remains, evidence of the
gifts (and cash) that went up in flames. On the bright side, while not funny at
the time, it has become a fun holiday memory.
For many, the idea of giving money isn’t very exciting and
may make you spend more than you otherwise would have, so the amount doesn’t
look inadequate. For years, I avoided giving money because I could often find a
“deal” that made it look like I spent more than I had. Then I realized, that I probably wasn’t
saving anything, or fooling anyone. If
the receiver returned the item, they would know what I spent anyway. Plus, the extra impulse purchases made while
shopping probably more than made up any difference between the “perceived”
savings and the dollar amount I’d spend in a check. I know that giving money doesn’t exude a ton
of sentiment, and maybe I’m too practical.
Or boring, or a Scrooge. Or maybe
it is that I just have really good memories of getting money as gifts.
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| Find Your Joy! Photo by Greg Miller Photography |
Grandma and Grandpa believed that “green” was everyone’s
favorite color. It was pretty hard for my Grandma to get around. She didn’t drive and was pretty much
house-bound, as she had mobility impairments.
For her, shopping either meant a catalogue or waiting until Grandpa
wanted to make the annual to the shopping mall in Havre. Thus, they gave cash. They were generous people, so it wasn’t
anticlimactic. Actually, we looked
forward to the money each year. In high
school, most of their gift went to clothes that I would not otherwise have purchased. In college, it often went for books for
classes, so it helped me with my education.
A pretty important gift, I’d say.
Somewhere along the way, I started setting aside a portion to buy a
keepsake -- a silver hair clip, a sapphire ring, a pretty necklace.
If you love shopping and gift-giving, go ahead and knock
yourself out. But, if it usurps your
joy, unburden yourself of the obligation.
So as much as one friend glowed while talking of shopping, another one
had an expression of relief when she said she was going to give money this year
instead or shopping this year. We all
have our own situations, stressors and strengths. I just want to give you permission to fully
embrace yours, whatever it is.
Because when it comes to gifts, it isn’t really an object or
money that matters – it is the gift YOU are to others that carries the most
importance. It has been said that there
is no present like time. What I cherish
about my grandparents now is the time they gave me. The lessons they taught. The love they shared. The greatest gifts my grandparents ever gave
me I carry with me every day wrapped beautifully in memories in my heart.
With MSU Extension in Teton County, this is Jane Wolery,
encouraging you to think about the true gift YOU are to someone this holiday
season.
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