All Shook Up!

I have been thinking about snow globes.  Sometimes they just sit there so pretty on the shelf and then someone comes by and shakes them and the snow falls softly until it settles again.  Other times someone comes by and really, really shakes them up.  You wonder how the little figurines inside don’t fall out of place.  At times my home finances feel like a snow globe – sometimes calm and settled and then sometimes something happens and it feels like our finances have been shaken up again.  The vehicle breaks down, someone needs surgery, there is a job change … it often doesn’t take much for serenity to be turned upside down!  

If you’d like to take control of your finances, MSU Extension has great resources in our Solid Finances series.  The Solid Finances program was started in 2013 and includes weekly financial webinars.  This year’s series includes topics such as health care insurance options for those nearing retirement, avoiding financial scams, Banking 101, and estate planning and family legacies.  Each webinar can be joined live on Wednesdays at noon.  This year’s webinars started on October 5, but the great news is that all webinars are recorded.  In fact, you can listen to any of the 50 webinars that are posted on the MSU Extension Solid Finances webpage.  Some of the recorded webinars include topics such as understanding credit scores, teens and money and how to reduce debt.  

There are topics for every stage of life. If your financial world is pretty settled, like a snow globe on shelf, it doesn’t hurt to dust it off every once in a while and take a look at it to be sure.  If your financial world is a little shaky, it might just do to take advantage of the free resources to establish Solid Finances.  

How Solid Are Your Finances?

Solid Finances:  2016-2017 Series Please join the Solid Finances webinar series this year.  We have made a few changes to improve the series. This year North Dakota State University Extension Service joins South Dakota State University Extension, University of Idaho Extension and Montana State University Extension in sponsoring the series. This new multi-state format will bring new expertise to the series to better serve you. The 2016-2017 Solid Finances schedule will consist of 18 sessions, with the first session on October 5th.  The first 14 sessions will focus on issues important to residents of all states. The final four sessions will focus on issues specific to participants from Montana and Idaho.  Solid Finances will feature 7 different presenters sharing their expertise and answering your questions. Lyle Hansen (UI Extension) will open the series on October 5th by addressing Credit Scores. Joel Schumacher (MSU Extension) will lead the next two sessions on Car Loans and Creating a Debt Repayment Plan.  Luke Erickson (UI Extension) and Carrie Johnson (NDSU Extension) will address Kids and Money in November.  Health and Finances will be the focus of three sessions in late November and early December. Retirement and Financial Awareness will be the focus of sessions in January and February.  For a complete schedule please visit:www.msuextension.org/solidfinances/schedule.html If you would like to participate in the 2016-2017 series, you will need to register: If you are using the same email address with which you registered last year; please register here   If you are registering with a different email address; please register here There is no cost to participate in the Solid Finances program, howeverregistration is required. We record all of the sessions in the webinar series.  Recordings of past sessions are available for viewing at: www.msuextension.org/solidfinances/pastrecordings.html. Here are few participants’ comments about last year’s program: The presenters were very knowledgeable on the topic and quick to answer questions typed it during the webinar. I know what I am supposed to do but actually doing it….well that is where the webinars help keep me inline and on track to follow through. Really appreciate the course instructors' wealth of knowledge & experience on the subject matter being presented. I love the resources that are shared each session. The webinars got me motivated to quit procrastinating. I hope you will participate in this year’s Solid Finances series. Please contact me if you have any questions about Solid Finances. Joel Schumacher 406-994-6637 This program is made possible by a grant from the FINRA Investor Education Foundation.

Give Yourself a Raise?

From MSU Extension


Most people would give themselves a raise if they could. Yet, some Montanans are missing the opportunity to do just that. More than 60 percent of American workers have access to an employer-based retirement plan, but those who don’t take advantage of it are leaving money on the table, according to Joel Schumacher, associate specialist with Montana State University Extension.
Schumacher said there are several ways workers can increase their income by participating. Many plans are defined contribution plans which typically have a formula that determines the matching contribution an employee is entitled to receive from his or her employer. For example, a company may contribute $1 for every $2 the employee contributes. The formula may limit the matching contribution to a percentage of the employee’s salary, such as the first six percent. In this case, a person who contributed six percent of his or her salary receives an additional three percent for the same work. For someone making $35,000 per year, this is worth more than $1,000.
Contributing to a retirement plan also lets the employee take advantage of tax benefits. Contributions to defined contribution plans are a pretax deduction. According to Schumacher, an employee earning $3,000 per month who does not contribute to the retirement plan will take home approximately $2,290 (total deductions vary depending on tax withholding status, tax brackets and other factors.) If this same employee contributed $150 (five percent) to the defined contribution retirement plan, the take home pay would be reduced by $115. The payroll tax savings would be $35. If the employer also matched 50 percent of the contribution, the employee would receive $225 in the retirement plan, at a personal cost of $115. This amounts to an additional $1,320 annually.
Schumacher recommends that employees who are not certain of the benefit package offered by their employer should first talk to the employer’s payroll or human resources office for guidance. Understanding and maximizing employer benefit packages may be the easiest way to get a raise, he said.
MSU Extension offers consumer economics education throughout the year.

Solid Finances

When I was growing up, my mom used to say, “It’s just as easy to love a rich man as a poor one.”   I don’t really know whether or not that is true.   While it may be just as easy to love a rich man, in the dating years of my life it wasn’t just as easy to find one.  My husband was told growing up that you can “Marry more money in twenty minutes than you can make in a lifetime.” Apparently there wasn’t a line of wealthy women waiting to date him. Rest assured, we both married for love. 

I suppose those oft repeated quotes are well-meaning.  Parents advising their children often equate wealth with security.  As well, money is one of the top reasons for discord in a marriage.  Any time a resource is limited, it can be a source of conflict.  Rather than marrying money, it might be better if we advised young people how to equip themselves with the skills to earn and manage their own money.

I’ve read that if you want to improve your skills in any area, you have to study or practice daily.  A financial advisor coached that you should read, learn or do something about money each day. I’ve heard it said, “Where your attention goes, your energy flows.”  If you are interested in improving your skills in the area of finances, MSU Extension and Extension partners in South Dakota and Idaho have devised a way for you to learn about finances from the comfort of your computer.

The Solid Finances series, taught by webinar, starts October 7.  The series covers Managing Your Money with topics on plugging spending leaks, emergency savings, home buying and organizing records; Retirement Planning with the top ten need-to-know items, getting started late, and a retirement question and answer session;  Investor Protection and Student Loans with topics from predatory lenders, identity theft, applying for federal student aid and student loan consolidation; and Montana-specific classes including estate planning and your rights over your remains.   You can listen and interact with these sessions live or listen to recorded sessions.

The Solid Finances webinar information can be found at www.msuextension.org/solidfinances. The website contains information on how to register for the free classes.  Be sure to check out past recordings and resources from previous years of Solid Finances classes as another free resource to become educated about money. 

There could be better advice given than to marry for money.  We could start using this adage instead, “Make your own money and manage it well.”  Besides, I’ve heard that people who marry for money earn every penny!

Free Estate Planning Classes in the Golden Triangle!

Estate Planning Classes

in the Golden Triangle Area

Marsha A. Goetting, Ph.D., CFP, CFCS

Extension Family Economics Specialist

P.O. Box 172800
Bozeman, MT 59717-2800
phone: (406) 994-5695 fax: (406) 994-4838
E-mail: goetting@montana.edu 

Marsha A. Goetting is a Professor and Extension Family Economics Specialist at Montana State University in Bozeman.

She has presented over 800 workshops reaching over 25,000 Montanans with financial and estate planning information. She has also authored over 75 MontGuides and bulletins and has received national, regional, and state awards for her financial management and estate planning programs.

An Extension Directory can be found here.

March 9, 2015 - Teton County 

Transferring Your Farm or Ranch to the Next Generation

·         Stage Stop Inn

1005 Main Ave N

Choteau, MT 59422

·         Noon-1:30 p.m.

·         Free – Register by contacting MSU Extension in Teton County 466-2491 or click here to email to register!

Individual or Family Financial Consultations (30 minutes each)

·         Stage Stop Inn

·         2:00-2:30 p.m., 2:30-3:00 p.m., 3:00-3:30 p.m., 3:30-4:00 p.m., 4:00-4:30 p.m., 4:30-5:00 p.m.

Estate Planning

Think You Know Who Receives Your Property When You Pass Away?  Think Again …

·         Stage Stop Inn

1005 Main Ave N

Choteau, MT 59422

·         6:30 p.m.-8:30 p.m.

·         Free – Register by contacting MSU Extension in Teton County 466-2491

March 10, 2015 – Choteau

Individual or Family Financial Consultations (30 minutes each)

·         Stage Stop Inn

·         8:00-8:30 a.m., 8:30-9:00 a.m., 9:00-9:30 a.m., 9:30-10:00 a.m., 10:00-10:30 a.m.

March 10, 2015 - Toole County

Estate Planning

·         Sunburst Library

Sunburst, MT

·         1:30—3:30 p.m.

·         Comfort Inn of Shelby

455 McKinley

Shelby, MT

·         6:30 p.m.

March 11, 2015 - Liberty County

Estate Planning

Steps everyone can take to simplify estate planning and gift giving

·         Sweetgrass Lodge

511 1^st St. W.

Chester, MT 59522

·         6:00 p.m.

March 12, 2015 – Blackfeet 

Estate Planning

Why everyone needs a will..what happens if you don’t have one”

·         Blackfeet Tribal Conference Room

Browning, MT 59417

·         1:00-3:00 p.m.

·         Contact the Blackfeet Extension Office for more information at 338-2650

March 12, 2015 – Glacier County

Estate Planning

·         Glacier County Courthouse Annex

Cut Bank, MT  59427

·         6:30 to 8:30 p.m.

·         Free—Please pre-register for material at 873-2239 or click here to register via email

March 13, 2015 – Blaine County

Estate Planning

·         Montana Seed Show

Harlem High School

Harlem, MT

·         10:00 a.m. - Noon

* Marsha Goetting will also be presenting on Credit Card Smarts to the 6^th graders at the Chinook Meadowlark Elementary that afternoon.

Transferring Your Farm or Ranch to the Next Generation

I follow a blog written by Katie Bangs, and while I’ve never met her, I feel like I know her.  I know her husband, as I used to be his babysitter.  Katie and her husband, Jeff, are back helping run the family farm in the north Joplin country where I was raised. I very much enjoy her blog, Prairie Ponderings:  The Fullness of an Open Land, as the blog is rich with agriculture and pictures of a landscape I love. 

Her recent post on her designated “Thankful Thursday” was about gratitude in the workplace.  Here is an excerpt:

“On a farm, our coworkers are often our family. Sometimes being around family 100% of the time is more difficult than being around coworkers who aren't related to us. Why? It is so easy to take for granted that our family members know that we love and appreciate them for who they are, let alone the hard work they may be putting in on the farm. We forget to actually verbalize our appreciation and thanks for family members’ contributions because they already know we love them, right? … Recently, Jeff and I were invited by his parents to attend their annual meeting with their accountant and their lawyer. We were asked to attend because we are continuing the ongoing discussion of transition. What will the future look like as the parents transition away from farming full time and Jeff and I take over? There are a lot of financial and legal considerations to ensuring the transition process runs smoothly.

We all spent quite a bit of time discussing options and weighing pros and cons, both legal and financial. I'll readily admit that some of the jargon was over my head, but what really struck me was the overall atmosphere of the meeting was one of mutual respect and gratitude for one another. I felt lucky to be in a family where it is possible to sit down at a table as four people involved in a family land transition, with everyone feeling like their voice could be heard. No arguments occurred, and everything really went very smoothly. This is not always the case in family farm transition talks. Even the lawyer and accountant admitted by the time our meeting was over that the whole thing went very smoothly and they had both been in meetings like this that had gone much, much worse.”

Katie’s post had me thinking about all the complexities of transferring a farm or ranch to the next generation.  She is definitely right that not all families handle matters calmly and thoughtfully.  For some, different family dynamics and structures add to the complexity of transferring an ag operation, especially when more than one adult child wants to be part of the family business.  Dividing a farm or ranch in a way that seems equitable is certainly not as easy as dividing savings accounts or life insurance proceeds.

There are also the complications of control and decision-making.  It can be a unique challenge to have your mom and dad be the bosses in your workplace, especially if you’ve worked the place every day for the last several decades.  In addition to the relational considerations of the day-to-day operations of a family farm, there are the legal and tax consequences related to a potential transfer.  Add to the mix generational differences, throw in some family baggage and you have potential for a family implosion.  Unfortunately, many people expect so much unpleasantness that they avoid the subject all together, which seems like poor business planning.  Most businesses are constantly looking to their future and planning for the sustained success of a business.

Whether you anticipate a smooth or bumpy transition on your farm or ranch, it is definitely worthwhile to spend a bit of time learning, planning and communicating about an eventual transfer.  To help you get started, we are pleased to have Dr. Marsha Goetting, MSU Family Economics Specialist, in Teton County on Monday, March 9 presenting classes and taking appointments at the Stage Stop Inn.  She’ll present, “Transferring YourFarm or Ranch to the Next Generation” from noon-1:30 p.m. An evening program, “Think You Know Who Receives Your Property When You Pass Away?  Think Again …” will be presented from 6:30-8:30 p.m.  Register for the free classes by contacting MSU Extension in Teton County at 466-2491.  Each session will be different and filled with information useful to families regardless of their ages or financial circumstances.

In addition to the two classes, Goetting will be taking appointments with families or individuals to discuss financial and estate planning.  Goetting has a wide breadth of knowledge in many areas of financial planning, from basic budgeting to charitable distribution of multi-million dollar estates.  Each appointment will be 30 minutes in length, filled on a first-registered basis.  Goetting’s primary goal with these sessions is to learn about people’s situations and educate them about options and resources.  No legal advice will be given.  The sessions are also provided free of charge.  Six one half hour sessions are available on Monday, March 9, staring at 2 p.m.   An additional five sessions are available Tuesday, March 10 starting at 8 a.m.

For all the dedication most farmers and ranchers have to growing and maintaining their operations, it just makes sense to invest some time in planning for the future – not only of the farm, but of the families who live there.  It also couldn’t hurt to follow Katie’s advice and let the people you work with know that you appreciate them – from the person on night shift calving, to the person who makes sure there is grub for the crew to the one fueling the tractor for seeding.  Sowing little expressions of gratitude can reap a bountiful harvest. 

Will You Be My Friend Forever?

Since we’ve been talking about Valentine’s, I’ve been thinking about mine.  I remember when my husband proposed to me.  In his typical fashion, it was meticulously planned, exceptionally romantic and highly rehearsed.  I wonder how many of you believe me.  Actually, it went like this:  He was about to go meet some of his buddies, but had stopped by my house.  He kept playing with something in his pocket.  I noticed the fidgeting and said, “What are you doing?”  He pulled out a ring box and shoved it toward me, and then said he was late and had to leave.  Still makes me smile, and laugh.  I was a little shocked, so when we talked about it later, he said the sweetest thing to me.  “I just want you to be my friend forever.”  I’m glad I married him, but I realize not all friends get married.

Some couples choose to forego marriage for their own reasons, but may be a couple for years.  Often we think of these people as “common law” spouses.  However, “common law marriage” has special considerations with estate planning, which is why Marsha Goetting, MSU Extension Family Economic Specialist has just released the new MontGuide, MontanaCommon Law Marriage and Estate Planning.   A common law marriage is one formed without a license and solemnization by clergy, judge or public official with powers to perform marriages.

Often, we hear that people are common law married if they have lived together a certain number of years, but that is not true.  Most of the time, a person wouldn’t have to prove whether they were common law married or not, but when settling an estate they may have to “prove” they are indeed the “spouse” to receive certain benefits or property.  The first point of proof is that both people were competent to enter a marriage.  Of course, some limitations and exclusions apply, such as not being related to each other and not being married to someone else.  The situation must be mutual.  The two people must express their intent to be married to each other (whether any form or ceremony existed or there are any witnesses).  The Affidavit of Common Law Marriage form found on the Montana State Law Library website.  Also, if they want to declare themselves married, they can file a Declaration of Marriage without Solemnization to officially record the marriage.  In Teton County, the Clerk of Court has samples of the declaration and the filing fee is $53.  (Quite a bit less than a wedding!)

he mutual consent can also be implied by the conduct of the two people.  The last way to confirm a common law marriage is by cohabitation and public repute.  While living together is one element considered by the courts, it is not the determining factor.  There is a list of ways that courts determine whether a couple has represented themselves publicly as married.  Just a few ways include completing forms or documents with a signature line for “spouse,” filing joint taxes or exchanging rings.  If a couple wants to document a common law marriage, they can do so by completing an

You might wonder why verifying a common law marriage matters.  In cases of settling an estate, it can matter a great deal.  We will consider just one example provided in the MontGuide:  John and Mary had lived together for 15 years.  When John died, he had a $2 million ranch.  Let’s say John had the land titled in his name only.  He wrote a will leaving the ranch to his children.  In Montana, a person cannot completely disinherit a spouse.  If Mary proves a common law marriage, she could be entitled to up to half of John’s estate. 

Couples who decide to live together need to understand the ramifications of their decisions.  If they don’t want to be considered married, they should be careful not to represent themselves in such a way that could be legally considered as married.  There are legal implications with how estates are settled involving marriages.  Common law marriages have estate consequences for the couple and any family members. 

As with all situations, people should review their estate planning goals and make sure their contractual arrangements and wills match with their intentions.  As one way to review, you  may want to attend one of several of Goetting’s classes around the Golden Triangle area starting March 9 in Teton County.  Watch for details next week on topics and locations.  When it comes to estates and finances, it seems to me that things tend to work out best when they are planned and well thought out.  Although, every once in a while something less than meticulously planned will work, too.  But maybe you’d better ask my husband about that.   

Winter Task -- Freeze! I mean, Security Freeze!

I have lost track.  Maybe you have, too.  It might have been three or four or five times last year.  It seemed that notice after notice came saying that my personal data security had been breached.  From major retailers to a state department to my employer and probably a few entities I really did lose track of, I received notices that my security had been compromised.  In a few cases, “suspicious” activity had been under investigation for months before I was notified, giving someone with bad intentions plenty of time to steal my identity and establish credit in my name before I was notified of the breach. With our digital environment, someone halfway around the globe can be quietly hacking computers for personal data.  My name, birth date, social security number and numerous other details are stored in who knows how many databases on who knows how many computers and networks.  I remember a day and age when a person only worried about their credit cards getting used by someone else if their wallet got stolen.  In today’s world, a person has to be increasingly diligent to guard their financial security. 

Fortunately for me, a long time before all these breaches with my data, I lost my wallet.  I was on my way to 4-H camp and had several youth traveling with me.  In the chaos of getting the last-minute camp supplies and loading everyone back into the vehicle, I believe I misplaced my wallet.  From a payphone (remember them) at 4-H camp, I coordinated with my husband, accessing files at home to cancel credit cards and go through necessary procedures to protect us from unwanted access to our finances. When I got back from camp, I placed a security freeze on my credit.  I had originally read about the Montana Security Freeze options through an MSU Extension publication.  The process was relatively simple. 

The current information about a security freeze from the Experian website states that consumers in the state of Montana have a right to place a “security freeze” on their credit reports.   This freeze prohibits major credit reporting companies from releasing any information on their credit reports without their express authorization, except those with whom the consumer already has a relationship.  According to the MontanaDepartment of Justice website, “It costs $3 to place a security freeze on your credit files with a credit bureau, for a total of $9 to freeze your files with all three credit bureaus. For a security freeze to be effective for married couples, both spouses have to freeze their separate credit files. The total cost for a couple is $18.”  Basically, a security freeze makes it difficult for someone else to apply for a credit card in your name or to steal your identity for financial gain.  A security freeze is designed to prevent credit, loans and services in your name without your consent. 

In the past decade, the security freeze has seemed to work for me.  I check my credit reports regularly and there have been no “surprises” there.  I have also applied for two loans since placing a security freeze and each time, I had to expressly unlock my security freeze, again for a nominal fee of $3, to allow the local bank to access my records.

If you have lost track, too, of how many times you have received letters saying your data security was breached, I encourage you to put a security freeze on your accounts.  

 ________________________________________________________________

Resources from the web, curated for you -- 
Or, I've done the searching, so you don't have to ...

Montana Department of Justice: Identity Theft

Protect Your Identity

Annual Credit Report -- Free

Scrooge Goes $hopping!

 We are getting pretty close to the last minute for holiday shopping.  You’ve probably already sensed that I don’t like the pressure of gift-giving by a certain date or out of obligation.  And, I suppose, to be honest, it stresses me out to shop.  If you like shopping and selecting and wrapping gifts and it brings you joy, I am not here to discourage you.  You make up for people like me! A friend just described a 13-hour shopping excursion with such a beaming face,  that I wouldn’t want to take that away from anyone who enjoyed it so much.  Some people are very gifted at gift-giving.  Maybe I can be, too, when I’m not up against deadlines. 

Cranky at Christmas time?

One of the biggest shopping days of the year is December 26.  I wonder what that says about us.  I’m a little afraid it means we didn’t get what we wanted (or in the right size or color) and we are returning gifts. Consequently, I get discouraged about spending my time shopping to give a gift that someone else has to take the time to go “unshop” (otherwise known as returning or exchanging).  Why not save the time and let them buy their own gift in the first place? Apparently I am not alone in this thinking, as evidenced by the huge gift card industry.

As we get down to the wire, many people are tempted to give a gift card.  They cost very little to ship and many can be sent electronically.  According to the National Retail Federation, gift cards are the most requested gift item for the holidays for the eighth year in a row.  But, get ready, because I’m about to Grinch the gift cards, too.  For one thing, most gift cards are for a specific store, which ties the recipient to an item only from that store.  Frequently, the amount on the gift card and the amount of the purchase are different, which means that recipients either have to shell out extra cash from their own pocket (the gift that costs) or they leave a small balance on the card to be under the value, meaning you just gave less than you intended.  Of course, a few dollars isn’t a big deal, but added together it is a big deal.  One company, in 2011, reported $53 million in income from “breakage” or the amount paid for on cards unlikely to be redeemed.  A recent report said that in total Americans leave more than one Billion dollars on cards each year.  So, I guess, if you want to give a gift to a big business, go ahead.  But, if you are more interested in giving a gift that helps your niece or nephew, you may want to rethink the gift card.  Plus, I haven’t even touched on fees – initial fee, dormancy fee, usage and replacement fees.  If giving a gift card, read the fine print.

I would say, “go green” and just give cash, but I have some personal experience that leads me to advise you to write a check instead.  In addition to being safer to put through the post, a check can be re-issued if it is lost in the holiday havoc.  My husband recalls a memorable Christmas with his family one year.  Part way through Christmas Day someone went to find a few of their gifts and they were nowhere to be found, which started several of them looking.  It became a frantic finding festival with nothing found and then there was a flicker of memory from the night before.  Could it be that when the gift wrap was bundled up and taken to the garbage, the gifts (including cash gifts) had all gone to the trash, too?  Sure enough.  Unfortunately, the garbage in those days was disposed of in a burn barrel … that had been lit.  There were charred remains, evidence of the gifts (and cash) that went up in flames. On the bright side, while not funny at the time, it has become a fun holiday memory.

For many, the idea of giving money isn’t very exciting and may make you spend more than you otherwise would have, so the amount doesn’t look inadequate. For years, I avoided giving money because I could often find a “deal” that made it look like I spent more than I had.  Then I realized, that I probably wasn’t saving anything, or fooling anyone.  If the receiver returned the item, they would know what I spent anyway.  Plus, the extra impulse purchases made while shopping probably more than made up any difference between the “perceived” savings and the dollar amount I’d spend in a check.  I know that giving money doesn’t exude a ton of sentiment, and maybe I’m too practical.  Or boring, or a Scrooge.  Or maybe it is that I just have really good memories of getting money as gifts. 

Find Your Joy!
Photo by Greg Miller Photography

Grandma and Grandpa believed that “green” was everyone’s favorite color. It was pretty hard for my Grandma to get around.  She didn’t drive and was pretty much house-bound, as she had mobility impairments.  For her, shopping either meant a catalogue or waiting until Grandpa wanted to make the annual to the shopping mall in Havre.  Thus, they gave cash.  They were generous people, so it wasn’t anticlimactic.  Actually, we looked forward to the money each year.  In high school, most of their gift went to clothes that I would not otherwise have purchased.  In college, it often went for books for classes, so it helped me with my education.  A pretty important gift, I’d say.  Somewhere along the way, I started setting aside a portion to buy a keepsake -- a silver hair clip, a sapphire ring, a pretty necklace. 

If you love shopping and gift-giving, go ahead and knock yourself out.  But, if it usurps your joy, unburden yourself of the obligation.  So as much as one friend glowed while talking of shopping, another one had an expression of relief when she said she was going to give money this year instead or shopping this year.  We all have our own situations, stressors and strengths.  I just want to give you permission to fully embrace yours, whatever it is. 

Because when it comes to gifts, it isn’t really an object or money that matters – it is the gift YOU are to others that carries the most importance.  It has been said that there is no present like time.  What I cherish about my grandparents now is the time they gave me.  The lessons they taught.  The love they shared.  The greatest gifts my grandparents ever gave me I carry with me every day wrapped beautifully in memories in my heart. 

With MSU Extension in Teton County, this is Jane Wolery, encouraging you to think about the true gift YOU are to someone this holiday season.  

 

 Disclaimer:  My opinion is a gift.  If you don't like it, it is fully refundable and exchangeable.  I've even been known to exchange it for a new one myself from time to time.   Links provided below are in now way intended to support or fund or endorse.  They are just provided because I thought you might find them useful.  

Resources:

Shop Smart

Jean Chatzky

Fortune

Gift Card Regulations

Bah! Humbug! Just Breathe ...

I know last week I was a little bah-humbug about the holidays.  I really don’t mean to sound like Scrooge, but the holidays provide unique stressors for nearly everyone.  For me, it tends to be gift giving.  It stresses my time, energy, creativity and budget.  I don’t think I’m alone.  A conversation with my 10-year-old daughter revealed that she, too, is stressed about finding the right gifts for her family that fit within the confines of her time, talent and budget.  We talked about the gifts she brings that we appreciate most are not ones that can be put in a box and wrapped.  Her sense of humor and loving spirit are two much appreciated gifts.  Still, even 10-year-olds are not immune to the stresses of the season.

Maybe for you gift-giving isn’t the trigger.  Maybe food is a stressor for you.  All those high-sugar treats tempting you all the time.  It could be the extra events in the schedule that tax a limited energy supply.  Perhaps your stressor is a particular family member who pushes your buttons and who you can avoid most of the year, except during the holidays.  And, for many, the holidays bring to mind the person who isn’t at the holiday table this year, and never will be again. 

Life, with its joys and sorrows, doesn’t really consult dates on a calendar when it presents us with challenges.  It has been a long time ago now, but I remember two holiday seasons, in particular, where I vacillated between the joyfulness of the season and the clarity of future reality.  It was a little bit like being on a teeter-totter on a playground.  Thrilled when you were up and bracing for when you were down, never knowing if it was going to be a soft touch down, going right back up; or, if this was the time you hit hard and bounced off. 

In 2004, my family – the sisters, the spouses, the children and my parents – all decided to go to Lethbridge for a family vacation.  We planned to enjoy a water par
k and other holiday happenings the city had to offer.  We were one year into my Dad’s brain cancer at that point.  The idea was great, but the timing was bittersweet.  Dad had been doing pretty well, but during that trip, it became evident that the tumor was growing again.  The following year, we spent the holiday season with Dad at Peace Hospice in Great Falls.  As a mother with young children at the time, I tried to keep up the appearances of the holidays for their sake.  Looking back, it seems like a strange blur of all the right holiday dresses, food and decorations accompanied with the worry, the doctors and nurses, and the inevitable death of my father. 

I think all people have their own bittersweet at the holidays.  I think the trick is to find more sweet than bitter.  There are ways to counteract holiday stress triggers.  One way is to communicate your needs clearly to those around you.  If cooking the meal for a huge family gathering destroys your joy, do a potluck or ask everyone to bring one appetizer, or have everyone bring their favorite cereal and you supply the milk.  Your family will surely remember the year they had cold cereal for their holiday feast!  Or, skip the food entirely and do a game night.  Another way to combat stress is to get regular exercise.  Even if you have company or are traveling, set aside the time you normally would to walk, swim, run or stretch.  Try to keep your diet as regular as possible, maybe even putting a little more focus on getting a wide variety of colorful fruits and vegetables. Eat a healthy breakfast packed with whole grains and drink plenty of water. When you are well-nourished, it seems you can handle more of the stresses coming your way. 

You can also use a variety of breathing techniques to reduce stress.  One breathing technique I learned during my counselor training was to exhale through your mouth as long as possible.  When you can no longer breathe out, take a deep breath in.  This technique was recommended for people who had anxiety attacks.  When you are already anxious, you are pretty tight and then someone will say, “take a deep breath,” which is not possible because are tense.  If you breathe the air out of your lungs first, they have to refill.  It can be very helpful in stressful situations or when having trouble sleeping at night.  Just repeat the process a few times until your body relaxes. 

You can even use those devices we all seem to be carrying around to help you relieve stress during the holidays.  The Shop Smart magazine, produced by Consumer Reports, recommended a few apps for stress reduction, including Breathe2Relax, Buddhify, Omvana and more, plus a few recommended podcasts including those found at UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center.  If an app isn’t for you, perhaps set a timer to remind you to go for a walk or do some deep breathing, stretching and relaxation exercises. 

With some of the stress-reduction tips, I hope you will find yourself up more than down on this season’s see-saw.  

___________________________________________________________

Disclaimer:  I have faith that you will take what you can use from this blog and discard the rest.  I believe in your ability to discern whether or not to spend any money on products suggested.  I trust you to understand that I am not endorsing any particular commercially available product over another one of like quality and cost.  

Resources:

The resources below are links to other websites that may be of interest to you on the same topic as this blog.

A Simple Enough Holiday  -- After writing my post, I found this article.  The author and I seem to share many of the same sentiments.  Wonder if we are distantly related?  

Tips on Holiday Eating from Our Friends at Utah State University Extension

Coping with Stress from eXtension

Grief and the Holidays

And now a few words from the Christmas Witch ...

Around this time last year, a misguided and belated witch, presumably from Halloween, arrived to take over my psyche during the Christmas holiday season.  My family will recall that it nearly took an exorcism to remove her from my body.  I was very frustrated last year with the tasks related to the holiday season.  The tasks that annoyed me the most, and with Grinch-like stealth stole my pleasure, were related to gift-giving.  I know, “it is better to give than receive” and all that, but I was in no mood for either giving or receiving -- at least not tangible, store-bought items.  I was actually so uncharacteristically miserable about it last year that I vowed to reassign the gift detail to my husband this year.  We have a month to go to see how that works!

Maybe you also find yourself overwhelmed during the holidays.  There are a variety of tips that people can use to bring a better proportion to their holiday season, but for now, since my Scrooge-like focus is on gift giving, I’ll offer a few tips in that department.  One of my favorite ideas is to eliminate gift-giving entirely, when possible.  All those $5-10 gifts for the various groups your family belongs to, from work to clubs, really add up.  Not only in the monetary budget, but in the energy budget.  All the time spent shopping and deciding and wrapping only clutter your holidays.  And, really, when was the last time you got or gave a $10 gift that it was truly a needed item.  Most people can and will buy what they want for themselves in that price range.  My “gift” to many people in my world is that I will neither provide nor expect gifts from them.  Talk to your colleagues or your civic clubs and youth organizations and take a load off everyone and eliminate the gift exchange.

Another idea to reduce financial strain during the gift-giving hubbub is to start with the end in mind.  At the end of your purchases, you don’t want the residual gift to be perma-debt. Far too many households carry an extraordinary amount of credit card debt. People often get carried away, either with the impulse purchases during the holiday season or with the pressure to give really good (read expensive) gifts.  Jean Chatzky, author and financial editor for NBC's Today Show, recommends a budget of 1.5% of your household’s after-tax income be spent on holiday gifting.  According to the US Department of Labor, the mean wage in Montana is $39,000.  After subtracting 25%, as a general estimate for taxes, that leaves $29,250 multiplied by 1.5%, leaves $438 for a gift budget.  Based on this example, our average Joe Montanan, would write down everyone on his gift-giving list and figure out how to divide up his gift budget among those recipients.  According to Chatzky, 1.5% is the amount most Americans can pay off by February, if they charge holiday purchases.  Well, now, thanks to the math, I realize why I was so grumpy last year.  The price on the expected and advertised gifts well exceeded my 1.5% budget!

A friend offered another suggestion to reduce the stress of holiday shopping.  She only gives what she can buy locally.  Think about how much time is saved, and how much more pleasant the experience, when shopping where you live.  Perhaps the choices will be more limited than the gazillion options of online shopping, but it can be the gift that keeps giving – circulating money in the local economy.  Plus, it can be a great tool for those of us who suffer from TMC (Too Many Choices) syndrome. 

Another tip is to give only gifts you already own. Some of the most memorable and nicest gifts I’ve ever received were used and it actually was the “thought” that counted.  Among my favorite gifting ideas is to give services, such as oil changes, haircuts, house cleaning or to share your own talents by volunteering to mend or cook, or do odd jobs for which you are skilled.  I also like the idea of giving experiences, not things, which reduces clutter.  A great example I heard recently was when grandchildren, who never know what to get their grandmother anyway, decided to pay for her to participate in strength-training classes at her assisted-living facility.  One of my favorite gifts I received last year was from my mother, who bought tickets for our family and our neighbors to enjoy a Phil Aaberg concert in Chester.  It was the highlight of my otherwise self-induced surly season last year. 

 

This year, Phil Aaberg will be in Choteau on December 11 giving his talents to help the group.  This group gives support to people in our community who are developing their own talents, but may not be able to afford parts of their training.  These

are the gifts that keep on giving.
Opportunities for All

This year, I hope to take my witch’s broom and sweep away at least a few of the strains of the season.  Maybe some of the ideas will work for you to be holly and jolly, too.  

_________________________________________________________________

Jean Chatzky Holiday Spending

MSU Tips on Jolly

Holiday Stress

Montana $aves $cavenger Hunt

I wanted to share the information below about a great opportunity to engage young people in learning about financial fitness.  Last year, we had several area students who completed the scavenger hunt and won the drawing for $100.  For more details, keep reading ...


Montana State University Extension is offering two Montana $aves $cavenger Hunts as a part of the America Saves program during 2014-2015.  The hunts are specifically designed for two age groups:  11-14 and 15-19.  Students will learn about the benefits saving and investing, how credit can be a friend for foe, and how to be in control of their money.

Students who complete the Montana $aves $cavenger Hunt are eligible for a drawing for one of 33 cash awards of $100 in each age group during America Saves week February 23-27, 2015. The 66 cash awards for Montana students are courtesy of generous sponsors.

The Montana $aves $cavenger Hunt can be used by teachers who want to incorporate learning about finances into their classes in family and consumer sciences, economics, math, or social studies.  The $cavenger Hunt could also be utilized as an extra credit opportunity for students to complete “after hours” at home or the local library.

Students have until February 20, 2015 to complete the 9 quizzes for the Montana $aves $cavenger Hunt.  The hunts do not have to be completed all at one time.

The Montana Saves Website has links to all the Montana $aves $cavenger Hunt materials:
Invitation to Students, Posters for each age group, and a list of websites for all quizzes.  Teachers whose students participated last year indicated a list of the websites for the school Computer Technician would be helpful.  You can print out the list or refer your Computer Technician to the site. www.montanasaves.org/

You are invited to review the Hunts to gain a better understanding of how this educational tool would be of benefit to youth.

The website for ages 11–14 (as of September 1, 2014). www.msuextension.org/montanasavesscavengerhunt1
The website for ages is 15–19 (as of September 1, 2014). www.msuextension.org/montanasavesscavengerhunt2

Please contact Marsha Goetting, MSU Extension, at goetting@montana.edu with questions.