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Build a Bridge to Connect PeopleGraphic used under license agreement from PresenterMedia.com |
As it turned out, the Town and Country Homemakers group in Dutton, who I’ve had the pleasure of working with several times a year for nearly two decades, were looking for an educational program for their March meeting. I quickly volunteered to teach on the topic of seniors in crisis and suicide in the older population.
I often find myself as much the student as the teacher with this wonderful group. Their role call for the meeting was to tell about a time when they were struggling and someone helped them. Years of life experiences poured out, with the critical message that each crisis passed and someone had been integral in pulling each of them through a dark point in their lives. The group then went on to their business meeting, some of which involved purposefully considering others who might need company or correspondence. It seemed one of the main goals of the meeting was to provide points of connection with those who might need it. It warmed my heart, because the lesson I had prepared included statistics about suicides, signs for suicide and successful prevention of suicide. According to the Montana Strategic Suicide Prevention Plan 2015, one of the suicide risk factors in the elderly includes social isolation and loneliness. This community-minded group was already working on their own prevention plan. They gather each month. During every meeting there are announcements about other community events. They plan activities to look forward to as a group. They make an effort to connect to others who might find themselves isolated or going through a rough transition.
Some of the other risk factors for suicide among the elderly include bereavement, perceived poor health, undiagnosed depression, major changes in social roles such as retirement or moving, and financial insecurity. Also, physical illness, particularly uncontrolled pain, contributes. However, very few (2-4%) elderly people who complete suicide have been diagnosed with a terminal illness at the time of their death.
Some of the factors that protect people from suicide include social activity, established social support network, pets and restricted access to lethal means. In Montana, 63 percent of suicides are from firearms – a particularly lethal means. It is suggested to have firearms locked and to also have trigger locks. I’ve heard the recommendation that ammunition and firearms be housed separately. Anything to make it more complicated or take more time can create a preventive barrier. Sometimes a delay of even two minutes is enough for someone to change their mind or to have their attempt interrupted.
There are often warning signs before a suicide attempt. When someone says he should just kill himself or if she talks about ways to kill herself, it is called ideation. Pay particular attention if a person is unusually focused on death, dying or suicide or if they are unusually seeking access to firearms or pills. Any time someone expresses that they are considering suicide, it should be taken seriously. Increased alcohol or substance abuse can be a warning sign. Starting to give things away or neglecting to take care of themselves or their own hygiene are signs. Withdrawing from friends and isolating themselves are also signs of concern.
A way of offering hope is through QPR. QPR is a technique to offer hope and stands for Question, Persuade and Respond. In the same way that CPR can keep the heart beating and the blood circulating, using QPR for someone close to suicide can be lifesaving. It is a very direct approach. If you suspect or are worried about someone contemplating suicide, ask directly, “Are you thinking about killing yourself?” You can provide a softer lead, if you want, acknowledging your observations, “You have seemed pretty upset and miserable lately. Sometimes when other people get to that point, they wish they weren’t alive. Are you feeling that way?” Avoid anything judgmental. It is critically important to remember, this is about them, no matter how you might be impacted. If they are at the point they are considering suicide, you need to park your own feelings. How they feel and what they are thinking should drive the conversation.
If they answer that they are thinking about suicide, persuade them to stay alive. They are considering suicide as a solution. Find out what the problems are. Validate their feelings. Try to really understand, and offer hope in any form. Ask if you can get them some help. Even your time listening to their problems is likely to be helpful and hopeful for them. You may even persuade them to postpone any suicide decision until they have tried some other potential solutions.
Imagine the despair that a person must feel when they reach a point that they are considering ending their life. They may feel helpless, so the next step is to refer them to help. It is best if you can take the person directly to help, whether the emergency room, a counselor, clergy or police. You can also get a commitment from them to accept help and start making the arrangements for a time in the very near future. If neither of the first two options work, try to get a promise for them to schedule time with a therapist and to not attempt suicide.
At the Golden Gate Bridge, a site of many suicides and attempts, officers are trained to spot potential jumpers. One officer has had particular success intervening and has persuaded more than 200 people to reconsider. His technique is much like QPR. He asks how they are feeling, and I suspect he is particularly skilled in listening and reaffirming. He asks them about their plans for the next day. If they don’t have one, he helps them make a plan for tomorrow, which, in a way, is asking them for a commitment to their plan for tomorrow.
While many of us are not specially trained to look for signs of suicide, many of us can still build the bridge to human connection. Sometimes an act as small as a smile can be a huge acknowledgement, and a heartfelt conversation can be a lifeline. As the women in the Town and Country Homemakers know, connection can make the difference.
Click on any of the links below to connect to more information.
Here are some resources from MSU Extension:
Handling Challenging Times
Understanding and Managing Stress
Helping Friends Cope with Financial Crisis
Depression: What You Should Know
If you are in crisis and want help, call the Montana Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 24/7, at 1-800-273-TALK
(1-800-273-8255). Reach out to someone. There are people in your life and in your community who have their hearts open and want you to live.
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| Graphic used under license agreement from PresenterMedia.com |
2014 US Suicide Data
After an Attempt
- A Guide for Taking Care of Your Family Member After Treatment in the Emergency Department
- A Guide for Taking Care of Yourself After Your Treatment in the Emergency Department
- A Guide for Medical Providers in the Emergency Department Taking Care of Suicide Attempt Survivors
Let's Talk Montana
Primary Care Guidelines in Assessing Suicide Risk in Veterans
Suicide Mortality Review Team
- 2014 SMRT Final Report
- Montana Code Annotated 53-21-1107 - Montana suicide review team
- Suicide Mortality Review Team
Suicide Prevention Resources for LGBT Youth
- Packet of Handouts for Suicide Prevention among LGBT Youth Workshop
- Suicide Risk and Prevention for LGBT Youth
- The Trevor Project
Tools for Primary Care
- Basic scoring guide for Clinicians
- PHQ - Questions
- SAFETY Plan Template
- Safety Planning Guide
- Safe-T Protocol with C-SSRS
In this situation pets are actually very helpful. health of yours as well as of your pets too. You people can go for any pets specially dogs as they can help you to maintain good health with their cuteness, loyalty and other things.
ReplyDeleteRegards:
Pet Grooming Tips