Tuesday, December 30, 2014

True Gifts

You have put up with my grumbling and griping about the stresses of the holiday season, and possibly gleaned a few tips amidst the grouching to deal with your particular stressors.  I hope you’ve been able to incorporate ideas that resonated with you and you have thrown the rest out of the sleigh!  I actually put a few of my own tips into practice, reducing my holiday stress.  After the Christmas witch I was last year, I promised to turn over one of my big stressors – gift giving – to my husband.  And, for the most part, he was in the captain’s seat this year.  He made most of the choices.  I co-piloted by budgeting, bill-paying and gift wrapping.  The gift wrapping wasn’t even so bad this year, since I learned how to gift wrap for a 4-H lesson a few years ago.  If you want, you can see the Wrap Artist, just keep in mind it was for the purposes of showing how to do a 4-H demonstration. Just the same, it surprising how learning a few great tips can take the stress out of a situation.  
 
As we head into the New Year, my mind is still on gifts, but not the ones that can be boxed, wrapped and tied up with string.  It is the gifts we all bring that are unwrapping around our community daily.  One of the great gifts for my family was the Phil Aaberg concert.  We sit with our faces aglow from being in the midst of such artistry.  To watch him share his great gift with the world is powerfully uplifting. 

 While Phil Aaberg is accustomed to playing in many venues, nine years ago, I saw him share his big talent in a very small room to uplift residents and relatives at the Peace Hospice Residential Facility in Great Falls.  By December that year, my Dad had been in hospice care three and a half months.  My mother moved right in with him, not leaving his side until hours after his spirit had left his body.  Witnessing their dedication and love during Dad’s final days on earth was a gift I will always cherish.  As their time together was coming to an end, there was not much my mother was looking forward to that season, but she did look forward to when Phil was coming and invited me to be there.  Phil sat down in the parlor area, with an intimate and appreciative audience of about 20 people and lit up some of the darkness.  What a gift!


Because of Opportunities for All Scholarship, Inc., Phil Aaberg was able to be in Choteau, lighting up the holiday season for 300 people.  Because of generous donations from a variety of people and businesses, the concert was offered as a free-will donation, making it available to anyone, no matter their financial circumstances.  Those in attendance gave their gifts by sharing $3200 to be used to support people, mostly youth, pursue a potential talent.  Wouldn’t it be a shame if years ago, when Phil Aaberg was a young boy, his talent was left uncultivated, just for the lack of money?  Opportunities for All Scholarship committee recognizes that all of us can cultivate a skill that turns into a passion that turns into a talent that can be shared with others.  But, cultivating a skill takes time and assistance, and lessons and practice.  Our county and communities are better because of the volunteers who give their gifts by serving on the Opportunities for All Scholarship board.

In 2008, Dr. Doug Steele, Dan Clark and Paul Lachapelle with MSU Extension and the Local Government Center, brought their gifts of vision and leadership by connecting Teton County with the Horizons poverty reduction program.  Through the several phases of the community development work (from study circles to Leadership Plenty classes), participants in Teton County brought their gifts and insights and energy.  Participants spent quite a bit of effort to define poverty, which is not only about economics.  It can also be about communities being underfunded in an area of development.  OFAS was one of the projects that was born out of the Horizons program.  Another gift that was already developing was Neighbors Helping Neighbors and they got a boost from the Horizons program, too.  This boost allowed them to amplify their efforts connecting people to the resources they need.  In time, as the Jaycees disbanded, the Caring Tree project found a home with Neighbors Helping Neighbors.

Since we are speaking of gifts, the Caring Tree volunteers and donors give a huge gift to those in need during the season.  Having been involved with that program as a volunteer for many years, I know that some families only need help temporarily.  One family, who received gifts from the Caring Tree for a few years during some challenging times and asked for very practical items like winter coats for their kids, is now taking tags from the tree and filling them.  Whether paying it back or paying it forward, your kindness to others is a huge gift.

The true gifts you bring are golden.  
With my Extension work, I’m able to repeatedly see the true gifts we all bring to our communities.  From  4-H leaders sharing their knowledge and resources with 4-H youth to the 4-H youth serving their community through food drives and other service projects, I see the gifts.  From the participant in Extension classes sharing their own life lessons at the right time and place for another’s benefit to the fair judges who inspire a youth to push to a higher level of quality, I see the gifts. 


It doesn’t take much, when you take a minute to look around, to see the true gifts being shared in our world.  In 2015, I encourage you to look for ways to share your special gifts with those around you, because it has been my experience that one good gift always leads to another. Put your good out there and trust it will get delivered to the right recipient at the right time. From MSU Extension in Teton County, thank you to those who have been such a special present to our communities.

__________________________________________________________________

Opportunities for All -- From Choteau School newsletter March 2013:

Opportunities for All Scholarships is a 501(c)3 organization that was created as part of the Horizons program brought to Choteau by the Extension Service in 2008. During the initial Horizons meetings, areas of need in our community were discussed and solutions sought.

One of the concerns was the difficulty for low-income families and individuals to participate in enrichment activities such as music lessons, 4-H club membership, swimming lessons, online classes, fitness programs, and so forth because of budget limitations and the lack of discretionary funds.
OFAS was formed to help make enrichment activities available to all. The organization offers a $250 individual scholarship to anyone who lives in Teton County and meets the financial guidelines, which are the same as those used for families to be eligible for free or reduced-price meals at school. Applicants are asked to complete a one-page application and provide proof of financial eligibility. Individuals may apply once every 12 months. Awards are limited to two per family in a 12-month period.

Since its inception, OFAS has provided awards for a variety of enrichment activities, including music lessons, swimming lessons, preschool scholarships, fitness programs and Close Up scholarships.
If a scholarship could help you, please do not hesitate to apply. Applications are available at the high school office, the Choteau/Teton Public Library and the Choteau Acantha newspaper office. If you would like to support the scholarship program, donations may be left at the Acantha or mailed to Opportunities for All Scholarships, P.O. Box 1134, Choteau, MT 59422.
Opportunities

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

4-H Project Day

Today, several Teton County 4-H members did arts, crafts, baking and cooking.  We learned science snippets with each of the four crafts -- glass etching, tile stenciling, chalkboard coaster painting and decoupage.  We also learned about acid-base reactions and leavening.  Some of our older 4-H members helped plan the lessons and teach.

We also listened to Logan Ley, 4-H alum, talk about careers in photography and photo styling.  He shared some of the details of the work he does preparing advertising photo shoots.  Unfortunately, he didn't stay to help me get any good photos of the cookies.  I sure could have used a food stylist!

I told the 4-H members, that I'd post the recipes they made on my blog, so now they are here for you to enjoy, too!

Melting Moments


Bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes

Cookies:
2/3 c. cornstarch
1 c. flour unsifted
1/3 c. powdered sugar
1 c. real butter

Sift flour and cornstarch together, set aside.  Cream butter and sugar together.  Once creamed add dry ingredients.  Drop by teaspoonful (very small) or roll into teaspoon-size balls.  Put on cookie sheet and bake for 15 minutes at 350 degrees.

Frosting:
2 c. powdered sugar
2 Tbsp. butter (soft, but not melted)
Dash of salt
1 tsp. vanilla
¼ tsp. almond extract
Whipping cream or milk

Cream together sugar, butter, salt and extracts.  Slowly add enough cream to make a spreadable frosting.  When cookies have cooled, frost.

Chocolate Snowballs

¾ c. butter, softened
½ c. sugar
1 egg
2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 c. all-purpose flour
½ tsp. salt
1 c. chopped nuts (optional)
1 c. chocolate chips
Powdered sugar

In large bowl cream butter and sugar.  Add egg and vanilla, mix well.  Combine the flour and salt.  Stir into cream mixture.  Fold in the chips and nuts.  Roll into 1 inch balls.  Place 1 inch apart on ungreased baking sheets.  Bake at 350 degrees 15-20 minutes. Put on cooling racks.  Cool cookies slightly and then roll in powdered sugar. 

Chocolate Oatmeal No Bake Cookies

1 c. sugar
2 Tbsp. baking cocoa
¼ c. butter
¼ c. milk


1 c. quick cook oats
¼ c. flaked coconut
2 Tbsp. peanut butter
½ tsp vanilla extract

In a saucepan, combine sugar and cocoa, add butter and milk.  Cook and stir over medium heat until mixture boils.  Boil for one minute.  Remove from heat.  Add oats, coconut, peanut butter and vanilla.  Let stand until it can hold shape on a spoon.  Drop by spoonful onto waxed paper.  Let set.
Branch chalkboard coasters

Monday, December 22, 2014

Over the River & Through the Woods ...

Over the river and through the woods to Grandmother’s house we go … I recently went on a reminiscing trip thinking about my Grandma Bernece and Grandpa Olyn.  When I was very little, all the first cousins and families would gather at Grandma and Grandpa’s on Christmas Eve to open presents. There was wrapping paper everywhere and cousins and aunts and uncles and my Grandpa’s homemade ice cream.  Great memories!  Years later, as the cousins got older, Grandma and Grandpa would travel to the homes of each of their children, starting south of Gilford at Uncle Leroy’s, stopping at Aunt Coleen’s in Rudyard, hitting Uncle Merlin’s north of Rudyard and then to our house.  We were always last because we shared the same farm yard with Grandma and Grandpa.  That close proximity meant there wasn’t a lot of holiday travel in my youth. 

Safe travels this season to you and your sleigh full!
Years later, as a teacher, I tried to make it home for the holidays on an incredibly icy Highway 2.  Somewhere near Harlem, we tried to stay on the road as we passed some of my students in the ditch.  There was no way for us to stop to offer assistance.  There were half a dozen vehicles in the ditch in about a half-mile stretch.  Law enforcement was there, trying to stay on their feet.  More than once we saw an officer slide off his feet on the skating rink that hours before had been pavement.  It was slippery and slow going – white knuckle driving at its best.  I have a few stories from other treacherous trips over the years and over the river and through the woods.

Holiday travel can be one of the big stressors of the season, so I’d like to share a few tips for winter driving.  First, make sure your vehicle is road ready.  Now anyone who has seen me driving around town in my fashionable Ford Explorer of the 1994 vintage may wonder how I can even give such advice.  This is definitely do as I say, not as I do!  And, lest you be worried, my rig rarely leaves town.  So, back to your vehicle … when was the last oil change, tire rotation, brake inspection?  Have you checked the fluids – oil, coolants, power steering, brake and windshield washer – recently?  Have you replaced your windshield wipers lately?  What about tires? For winter driving, the MontanaDepartment of Transportation gives this information on tires:  You need good tread.  All-season radials on a front-wheel-drive passenger vehicle are adequate, as are snow tires on most rear-wheel-drives.  Chain restrictions in Montana are most often put into effect for commercial vehicles.  Studded snow tires can be used in Montana from October 1 until May 31 and they are 218% more effective than conventional tires.  Chains are 630% more effective. 

If your vehicle is prepared, the next step is to make sure you are.  It is recommended to have an emergency travel kit that includes a first aid kit, blankets, winter clothing, whistle, tow chain or straps, sand, water, non-perishable high energy food, matches in a waterproof container, flashlight and extra batteries.  For a complete list see the winter survival guide at MDT website.  Another thing to consider is having a fully-charged cell phone.  You may not have reception in all places, but keep in mind that sometimes a text message can get out when a voice call cannot. 

Plan ahead.  Look at road reports.  Leave early and travel as much as possible in daylight.  Call someone to let them know when you are leaving and report in when you arrive.  Use your headlights to be visible – think of Rudolph guiding the sleigh!  Wear a seatbelt, stay hydrated with water as it assists with focus, and stay alert.  Take stretch breaks as needed.  Keep your focus on your driving, not on passengers.  This task is hard even for short distances sometimes, like this morning as my daughter spilled hot chocolate all over as we approached the school zone!  Yikes!  Some distractions can be hard to avoid, but others can be planned for, such as habits with cell phones while driving.  I have a friend who puts her cell phone in the back seat of her vehicle just to avoid the temptation to use it while driving.  Drive a reasonable speed for the conditions. 

Driving slowly was never a problem for Grandpa Olyn, and it seemed especially true on Christmas Eve.  Better to arrive slowly than not at all.  I’m certainly thankful all those years that Grandma and Grandpa arrived back to our door safely.  I don’t think even Santa on his sleigh would have brought more excitement!  Safe travels this season. 


Below are some additional resources curated from the web for your edification.  


Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Scrooge Goes $hopping!

 We are getting pretty close to the last minute for holiday shopping.  You’ve probably already sensed that I don’t like the pressure of gift-giving by a certain date or out of obligation.  And, I suppose, to be honest, it stresses me out to shop.  If you like shopping and selecting and wrapping gifts and it brings you joy, I am not here to discourage you.  You make up for people like me! A friend just described a 13-hour shopping excursion with such a beaming face,  that I wouldn’t want to take that away from anyone who enjoyed it so much.  Some people are very gifted at gift-giving.  Maybe I can be, too, when I’m not up against deadlines. 

Cranky at Christmas time?
One of the biggest shopping days of the year is December 26.  I wonder what that says about us.  I’m a little afraid it means we didn’t get what we wanted (or in the right size or color) and we are returning gifts. Consequently, I get discouraged about spending my time shopping to give a gift that someone else has to take the time to go “unshop” (otherwise known as returning or exchanging).  Why not save the time and let them buy their own gift in the first place? Apparently I am not alone in this thinking, as evidenced by the huge gift card industry.

As we get down to the wire, many people are tempted to give a gift card.  They cost very little to ship and many can be sent electronically.  According to the National Retail Federation, gift cards are the most requested gift item for the holidays for the eighth year in a row.  But, get ready, because I’m about to Grinch the gift cards, too.  For one thing, most gift cards are for a specific store, which ties the recipient to an item only from that store.  Frequently, the amount on the gift card and the amount of the purchase are different, which means that recipients either have to shell out extra cash from their own pocket (the gift that costs) or they leave a small balance on the card to be under the value, meaning you just gave less than you intended.  Of course, a few dollars isn’t a big deal, but added together it is a big deal.  One company, in 2011, reported $53 million in income from “breakage” or the amount paid for on cards unlikely to be redeemed.  A recent report said that in total Americans leave more than one Billion dollars on cards each year.  So, I guess, if you want to give a gift to a big business, go ahead.  But, if you are more interested in giving a gift that helps your niece or nephew, you may want to rethink the gift card.  Plus, I haven’t even touched on fees – initial fee, dormancy fee, usage and replacement fees.  If giving a gift card, read the fine print.

I would say, “go green” and just give cash, but I have some personal experience that leads me to advise you to write a check instead.  In addition to being safer to put through the post, a check can be re-issued if it is lost in the holiday havoc.  My husband recalls a memorable Christmas with his family one year.  Part way through Christmas Day someone went to find a few of their gifts and they were nowhere to be found, which started several of them looking.  It became a frantic finding festival with nothing found and then there was a flicker of memory from the night before.  Could it be that when the gift wrap was bundled up and taken to the garbage, the gifts (including cash gifts) had all gone to the trash, too?  Sure enough.  Unfortunately, the garbage in those days was disposed of in a burn barrel … that had been lit.  There were charred remains, evidence of the gifts (and cash) that went up in flames. On the bright side, while not funny at the time, it has become a fun holiday memory.

For many, the idea of giving money isn’t very exciting and may make you spend more than you otherwise would have, so the amount doesn’t look inadequate. For years, I avoided giving money because I could often find a “deal” that made it look like I spent more than I had.  Then I realized, that I probably wasn’t saving anything, or fooling anyone.  If the receiver returned the item, they would know what I spent anyway.  Plus, the extra impulse purchases made while shopping probably more than made up any difference between the “perceived” savings and the dollar amount I’d spend in a check.  I know that giving money doesn’t exude a ton of sentiment, and maybe I’m too practical.  Or boring, or a Scrooge.  Or maybe it is that I just have really good memories of getting money as gifts. 

Find Your Joy!
Photo by Greg Miller Photography
Grandma and Grandpa believed that “green” was everyone’s favorite color. It was pretty hard for my Grandma to get around.  She didn’t drive and was pretty much house-bound, as she had mobility impairments.  For her, shopping either meant a catalogue or waiting until Grandpa wanted to make the annual to the shopping mall in Havre.  Thus, they gave cash.  They were generous people, so it wasn’t anticlimactic.  Actually, we looked forward to the money each year.  In high school, most of their gift went to clothes that I would not otherwise have purchased.  In college, it often went for books for classes, so it helped me with my education.  A pretty important gift, I’d say.  Somewhere along the way, I started setting aside a portion to buy a keepsake -- a silver hair clip, a sapphire ring, a pretty necklace. 

If you love shopping and gift-giving, go ahead and knock yourself out.  But, if it usurps your joy, unburden yourself of the obligation.  So as much as one friend glowed while talking of shopping, another one had an expression of relief when she said she was going to give money this year instead or shopping this year.  We all have our own situations, stressors and strengths.  I just want to give you permission to fully embrace yours, whatever it is. 

Because when it comes to gifts, it isn’t really an object or money that matters – it is the gift YOU are to others that carries the most importance.  It has been said that there is no present like time.  What I cherish about my grandparents now is the time they gave me.  The lessons they taught.  The love they shared.  The greatest gifts my grandparents ever gave me I carry with me every day wrapped beautifully in memories in my heart. 

With MSU Extension in Teton County, this is Jane Wolery, encouraging you to think about the true gift YOU are to someone this holiday season.  

 



 Disclaimer:  My opinion is a gift.  If you don't like it, it is fully refundable and exchangeable.  I've even been known to exchange it for a new one myself from time to time.   Links provided below are in now way intended to support or fund or endorse.  They are just provided because I thought you might find them useful.  

Resources:

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Scaling Back for the Holidays?

At Thanksgiving, I blew it.  Through a wellness program at work, I’ve been receiving monthly coaching to meet some health-related goals.  The week of Thanksgiving, I had a call from my coach.  I had met one of my major goals in the six months of the program, so we spent some time discussing that success.  Then, she asked what my goals were during the holidays.  Because I have a bit of a problem with scale in my life, I said, “I will plan only one dessert for Thanksgiving dinner.”  The whole week of Thanksgiving I thought of my goal.  I really planned to scale back (in more ways than one) during the holidays.

On Wednesday, my oldest daughter made an upside-down Pumpkin Patch Pie Cake that has been a favorite from a 4-H demonstration by Kylee and Claire Ruckman years ago.  She was also planning to make whipped cream.  That should have been enough.  It was one 9x13 dessert.  And then, something happened.  A little thought, about the size of a pecan, started forming.  Surely a pecan pie would add to the meal.  Before I knew it, I was making pie at 9:30 p.m.  The only problem was that the pie crust recipe made enough for two pies.  The next problem was that my husband starting talking about what pie crust is best.  He likes the Gerry Smith pie crust we learned to make during a 4-H Clover Class – super flakey.  But, the pie I made used the Baker Bob pie crust, learned during an Extension class.  Of course, my mom got in the mix telling me that the pecan pie recipe she uses is lots easier (which I took to mean better) than the one I use.  Seriously, I am using a pecan pie recipe from my southern relatives and she is using one from the northern relatives.  Which one do you think is better?  The debates had to be settled. By midnight, not only did we have the Pumpkin Patch Pie Cake, but two pecan pies and two pumpkin pies – one type of pie from each crust.  Six people for Thanksgiving Dinner and five desserts.  Uh-oh.  Remember the goal?  One dessert.  As predicted, my problem with scale was soon going to be a problem on the scale!  On the upside, my teenage daughter likes to make pie, so she and I had a pretty enjoyable time in the kitchen that night.

My example notwithstanding, research has shown that people who set clear goals by writing them down or sharing them aloud with others (or both) are much more likely to meet their goals.  Goal setting increases motivation and achievement.  Goal setting can give you clarity. For instance, most of us have all kinds of opportunities for how we spend our time and there are loads of distractions that come our way daily. When we start our day with goals we want to accomplish in mind, we can make better decisions for how we spend our time.  Goals give us a way to filter the other opportunities that come our way. 

As a teacher, I set goals of what I want students to learn by the end of a lesson. Most of the best lessons are intentional and start with the end in mind.  One of the classes I’ve been teaching lately is called, Powerful Tools for Caregivers.  At the end of each class, participants are asked to write an action plan for the week.  The assignment is to do something for themselves that they really enjoy and want to do.  The goals have varied from going on a date night with their spouse to learning a new crochet stitch.  Once the goals have been written, each participant is asked to share their goals aloud.  The next week, at the beginning of class, we report on whether or not we’ve met our goals.  Guess what?  Nearly everyone always reaches their goals.  There is power in writing and sharing goals. 

We know that writing and sharing a financial or savings goal greatly increases the achievement. You can go to www.montanasaves.org to write/share your goal and receive support to reach it.  We know that for health goals, writing and sharing them accelerates the probability that the goals will be reached.  I would bet that writing goals for how to manage your holiday schedule and stresses would even improve the odds of successfully navigating the season in style!

The other good part about goals is that by stating them, you will have a way to evaluate progress.  In my case, if I hadn’t have stated a goal, I might not have even recognized I had gone a little overboard.    


Whether it is health, wealth, or holiday happenings, I encourage you to take a minute to write and share your goals for this week and this month.  After you get a little practice, start writing some long-term life goals.  Pretty soon reaching your goals will seem like a piece of cake … or is that a piece of pie?!



Pumpkin Patch Pie Cake


1 30 oz can pumpkin pie filling
2 eggs
1 5 oz can of evaporated milk

Mix together and pour into ungreased 9x13 pan.

1 yellow cake mix (no pudding)
½ c. butter slightly softened

Mix together with pastry blender or hands to make a crumbly mix.  Sprinkle over pumpkin.  Bake for 1 hour at 350 degrees F.  Let cool.  Refrigerate.  Serve upside down and top with whipped cream.

Whipped Cream

Heavy whipping cream
Powdered sugar
Vanilla

Use amounts to suit your needs and taste.  Pour heaving whipping cream into bowl.  Whip on high until it starts to get fluffy.  Add powdered sugar.  (Granulated sugar will work, too, but it seems that it will separate less in storage with the powdered sugar.)  Add vanilla to taste.  Beat until nice and fluffy, but not so long that it becomes sweet butter.

Gerry Smith’s Pie Crust Recipe from 4-H Clover Class


2 c. flour
½ tsp salt
½ tsp baking powder
2/3 c. vegetable oil (scant)
½ c. cold water

Mix dry ingredients in covered plastic container.  Add oil and water.  Put lid on container securely.  Shake 3-4 times and the dough will form a ball.  Roll between waxed paper to size for pie pan. 

*An addition my daughter learned from another 4-H family – add freshly ground nutmeg to dry ingredients if making crust for pumpkin pie.  I can imagine different spices could be added depending on type of pie.  Wonder what a little lemon zest would do for a lemon meringue pie?

Baker Bob’s Pie Crust from an Extension Class on Irish Pasties

½ recipe makes two pie crusts

4 c. flour
2 tsp salt  (I’d reduce by ½ for pie instead of pasties)
1 ½ c. lard (or shortening or butter)
10 tablespoons ice water

Place flour, salt and lard in bowl.  Quickly rub lard into flour with your fingertips until it resembles small peas.  Pour in the ice water and form into a ball.  Add more water if it feels to dry.  It is suggested to wrap in plastic and chill for an hour before rolling. 

Pecan Pie

1 unbaked pie shell

Mix together
3 eggs, beaten well
¾ c. sugar
¾ c. dark corn syrup
1 c. pecan halves
1 Tbsp. melted butter

Pour into pie shell.  Bake at 425 degrees F for 10 minutes, then finish until set at 325 degrees for approximately 30 minutes. 

Southern Pecan Pie

After the great pecan pie debate at my house, I think this recipe produces a smoother pie.

1 c. sugar
1 c. light corn syrup
1/3 c. butter
 4 eggs, beaten
1 tsp. vanilla extract
¼ tsp. salt
1-1   ½ c. pecan halves
1 unbaked pie shell

Combine first 3 ingredients in medium saucepan.  Cook over low heat, stirring constantly, until sugar dissolves and butter melts; cool slightly.  (Has to be cool enough not to cook the eggs – you can temper the mixture)  Add eggs, vanilla and salt; stir well.  Pour filling into pie shell; top with pecan halves.  Bake at 325 degrees F for 50-55 minutes.  


Resources:








Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Bah! Humbug! Just Breathe ...

I know last week I was a little bah-humbug about the holidays.  I really don’t mean to sound like Scrooge, but the holidays provide unique stressors for nearly everyone.  For me, it tends to be gift giving.  It stresses my time, energy, creativity and budget.  I don’t think I’m alone.  A conversation with my 10-year-old daughter revealed that she, too, is stressed about finding the right gifts for her family that fit within the confines of her time, talent and budget.  We talked about the gifts she brings that we appreciate most are not ones that can be put in a box and wrapped.  Her sense of humor and loving spirit are two much appreciated gifts.  Still, even 10-year-olds are not immune to the stresses of the season.

Maybe for you gift-giving isn’t the trigger.  Maybe food is a stressor for you.  All those high-sugar treats tempting you all the time.  It could be the extra events in the schedule that tax a limited energy supply.  Perhaps your stressor is a particular family member who pushes your buttons and who you can avoid most of the year, except during the holidays.  And, for many, the holidays bring to mind the person who isn’t at the holiday table this year, and never will be again. 

Life, with its joys and sorrows, doesn’t really consult dates on a calendar when it presents us with challenges.  It has been a long time ago now, but I remember two holiday seasons, in particular, where I vacillated between the joyfulness of the season and the clarity of future reality.  It was a little bit like being on a teeter-totter on a playground.  Thrilled when you were up and bracing for when you were down, never knowing if it was going to be a soft touch down, going right back up; or, if this was the time you hit hard and bounced off. 

In 2004, my family – the sisters, the spouses, the children and my parents – all decided to go to Lethbridge for a family vacation.  We planned to enjoy a water par
k and other holiday happenings the city had to offer.  We were one year into my Dad’s brain cancer at that point.  The idea was great, but the timing was bittersweet.  Dad had been doing pretty well, but during that trip, it became evident that the tumor was growing again.  The following year, we spent the holiday season with Dad at Peace Hospice in Great Falls.  As a mother with young children at the time, I tried to keep up the appearances of the holidays for their sake.  Looking back, it seems like a strange blur of all the right holiday dresses, food and decorations accompanied with the worry, the doctors and nurses, and the inevitable death of my father. 

I think all people have their own bittersweet at the holidays.  I think the trick is to find more sweet than bitter.  There are ways to counteract holiday stress triggers.  One way is to communicate your needs clearly to those around you.  If cooking the meal for a huge family gathering destroys your joy, do a potluck or ask everyone to bring one appetizer, or have everyone bring their favorite cereal and you supply the milk.  Your family will surely remember the year they had cold cereal for their holiday feast!  Or, skip the food entirely and do a game night.  Another way to combat stress is to get regular exercise.  Even if you have company or are traveling, set aside the time you normally would to walk, swim, run or stretch.  Try to keep your diet as regular as possible, maybe even putting a little more focus on getting a wide variety of colorful fruits and vegetables. Eat a healthy breakfast packed with whole grains and drink plenty of water. When you are well-nourished, it seems you can handle more of the stresses coming your way. 

You can also use a variety of breathing techniques to reduce stress.  One breathing technique I learned during my counselor training was to exhale through your mouth as long as possible.  When you can no longer breathe out, take a deep breath in.  This technique was recommended for people who had anxiety attacks.  When you are already anxious, you are pretty tight and then someone will say, “take a deep breath,” which is not possible because are tense.  If you breathe the air out of your lungs first, they have to refill.  It can be very helpful in stressful situations or when having trouble sleeping at night.  Just repeat the process a few times until your body relaxes. 

You can even use those devices we all seem to be carrying around to help you relieve stress during the holidays.  The Shop Smart magazine, produced by Consumer Reports, recommended a few apps for stress reduction, including Breathe2Relax, Buddhify, Omvana and more, plus a few recommended podcasts including those found at UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center.  If an app isn’t for you, perhaps set a timer to remind you to go for a walk or do some deep breathing, stretching and relaxation exercises. 


With some of the stress-reduction tips, I hope you will find yourself up more than down on this season’s see-saw.  

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Disclaimer:  I have faith that you will take what you can use from this blog and discard the rest.  I believe in your ability to discern whether or not to spend any money on products suggested.  I trust you to understand that I am not endorsing any particular commercially available product over another one of like quality and cost.  

Resources:

The resources below are links to other websites that may be of interest to you on the same topic as this blog.

A Simple Enough Holiday  -- After writing my post, I found this article.  The author and I seem to share many of the same sentiments.  Wonder if we are distantly related?